weighty issues

I have been struggling with bad food lately. Though I hate to fall into the trap of thinking of food as “bad,” eating cake for lunch more than once in the last two weeks certainly qualifies as some sort of poor eating habit. It’s my own fault, of course. I slacked on my usual eating habits because I felt stressed and overworked, leaving me what seemed like little time to plan my usual meals. I have not cooked a proper meal in nearly 3 weeks. That’s never a good thing for me, as I have all sorts of food issues at the moment due to a faulty gallbladder and an under-active thyroid (though under control). Working out has been sporadic at best, and an extra 200 calories a day became a regular thing.

November marks a year since I left my old job, and the much larger campus (and daily 20 minute walk to and from my car) it provided. Before I left that job, I had maintained my goal weight for months. I set my goal in 2008, after a friend’s sudden battle with diabetes made me take control of my own weight-related risk factors. I lost a lot of weight and reached my goal during a 2 year span. I weighed 135 last November. I’ve been stuck at 145 (this is an average, given usual fluctuations) since April. I blame it on office parties, outings, less space for walking at work, and less time to get a full workout. But it’s really just me. This week, I became fed up with those 10 extra lbs and told myself I would start being more honest about this whole mess. I am going to get back on track and reach my goal weight again. It’s a personal challenge that I plan to keep. 10 lbs may seem like a small amount, but it feels physically wrong to me/on me. Few people who met me post-weightloss can guess that I was ever overweight, and I’ve managed to keep it that way. I don’t want to be that fat girl who lost weight. I want to be fit and healthy for life.