Everything I know I learned from Labyrinth

Labyrinth was (and still is) one of my absolute favorite movies and probably one of my greatest pop culture influences. I started watching this movie before I could really understand what was happening… I’m not sure what I made of it as a toddler, but there seems to have been no lasting harm.

These are the top 10 things I learned from Labyrinth

1. If an androgynous man in tights offers you his crystal ball, do not sass him.
Just don’t. Whether or not you take him up on his offer is a different matter altogether.

2. All those stories about nice fairies are wrong.
Folktales are full of wicked fairies. Stop believing in sugar-coated fairy tales.

3. Be very specific when asking friendly strangers for directions.
They might just send you on the wrong path.

4. Nothing is ever a piece of cake.
Just when you think things are going swimmingly, something terrible will happen. It always does.

5. Watch out for riddlers and gropers.
Need I explain?

6. Never let others handle your peaches.
You may end up in a hallucinogenic dreamscape.

7. All your childhood toys really are just junk.
Don’t become a hoarder. You’ll end up like the garbage lady.

8. A bunch of misfits can do anything, even take down the Goblin Army.
That’s some serious inspiration.

9.If the androgynous man in tights offers to be your slave if you do as he says, you’d better know your answer.
Or it might turn into some 50 shades fiasco.

10. David Bowie is the greatest.
He is.

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Author: gricel d.

writer. librarian. cat lady.

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