what we talk about when we talk about life

I am not in a good place right now. I like to present a generally upbeat blog personality, but there are times when I just need to think about the not so cheerful moments. I don’t mean to brood, but while things seem fine on the surface, much of my personal life has gone to hell. There are things that are beyond my control which are affecting the choices I need to make… and this is not something that I’m dealing with in a very positive way. I cannot rationalize these things and put them into clear categories. These are the messy things that make my day just a little harder and my thoughts a little darker. I feel like I’m in the middle of a transition. This is probably a belated quarter-life crisis, a period that will pass and I’ll look back on it and wonder why I thought life was so difficult. Or it might not be. There are real decisions that I need to make, and these will have long-term repercussions. I wish I were a better person and could move on without making such a muddle, but I’m not and this is not easy.