Because it’s been so quiet around here, I decided to film a vlog explaining ALL. Watch me rock the wet hair, no-makeup look, as I blather on about all the things.
I had a video for today, but too much has happened and I just can’t bear to make light of it. My heart is breaking in so many ways. I’m scared for my future, my friends, my family, my country, and I just can’t find a way to wrap my mind around it all. There is just so much that I can’t fathom. I don’t know how we’ll get out of it and I can’t see a bright future at the end.
My truth is this:
I grew up in public housing, in a single parent home. I was poor. Public television inspired me. I ate free school lunches. I completed an undergraduate degree because of grants, and a graduate degree because of an assistantship. I completed a second grad degree because of a subsidized federal loan. I worked my ass off for a future that is at risk because someone else’s elected official(s) does not value the work I do nor the people I come from.
And then there is the threat to our peace and our environment. I just don’t have the words.
Howdy y’all! So I’m in a weird headspace… literally. Feeling tired, wired, and spacey all at once. In short, I am a squirrel. Kind of manic, but lazy at the same time. Could be hormones, could be the weirdness that comes before a migraine… could be both (probably both). Anyhow, it’s going to be a week.
But back to real talk… I’ve been adulting. It’s been a while since I took a good, hard look at my finances and spending habits. I’ve gone through at least one raise and one rent hike, so it’s about time I take a good look at where my money is going. After several failed attempts at using a cash budget and an online tracker, I’ve decided to just keep a written log of my spending—keeping my receipts, tracking my purchases, and just reviewing where my $ is going at the end of the week, when I’ll pop it into a spreadsheet and tally up the amount. I tried tracking in my bullet journal, but that just didn’t work, so I’m using a dedicated notepad just for spending.
I’m fine when it comes to money, but I would like to scale back and take better control of my spending. Mostly impulse buys… and coffee. That’s kind of a problem, but one I hope to address by building better habits. We’ll see.
I stayed out past my bedtime for the first time in a very long time. Seriously, I’m too old for this. Spent the morning finishing a chapter because I knew I would be drained by lunchtime. I was right.
True Confession time: I broke my Whole30. It’s the first time since the first time (er… words? it makes sense when you think about it), but it happened and it’s ok. Lady time struck hard and I just needed the carbs. All in moderation, but definitely the right choice. I felt better right away.
I’ll get back to full Whole30 once the situation clears. For now, I need carbs. Rice and bread to be precise.
Kitty cats have lazed about and taken over, as per usual.
In other accomplishments: did my nails (only minimal staining) and only spilled a splash of my fancy hair oil when I knocked it off the counter.
I have the clumsies.
I didn’t realize how tired I was until I passed out between the cats. What started as a quick nap, turned into a two-hour, dead-to-the-world snooze in full pretzel mode. The cats do not know how to share the wealth, the bed is theirs between the hours of 9-5 and they know it. So with my head wedged between my arm and Cat #1’s rear, I slept.
Which means no writing , no yoga, no walking, no cleaning, no nothing. Well, that’s not strictly true, I did do my groceries this morning, before the rest of the world was out and about on a Sunday. So that’s one thing off my list.
Yesterday, I woke up tired, but I dragged myself out of bed and kept going under the influence of tea and coffee. Today, it wasn’t happening. I’ll take it as a sign and rest. The writing will wait ’til tomorrow (I’m taking the day off for a doctor’s appointment), and the yoga will be sweet and easy.
January felt busy… in more ways than one. It also felt strained and hectic, but that’s a post in itself. Just breathe, I tell myself. I am a pessimist at the best of times, I just need to breathe.
Anyhow, looking back, I accomplished a lot of things, and that’s something to celebrate after all the badness that threatened to bring me down.
- I celebrated my ninth anniversary and took a mini-break to join in my friend’s wedding.
- There were dates, and lots of them. Just time to get away from the daily grind.
- I cut my hair.
- Finished 25 of the 31 days of Yoga Revolution (will make up the missing days this week, and complete day 31 tonight).
- Balanced festive eating with paleo-ish eating, which was good.
- Read a few books:
- Air & Light & Time & Space by Helen Sword (on academic writing, pre-pub)
- Without a Summer by Mary Robinette Kowal (Regency fantasy goodness)
- Polish your Poise with Madame Chic by Jennifer L. Scott (for the inspo)
- Demon’s Curse by Alexa Egan (for the mystery, fantasy, sexiness)
- And rewrote/revised/edited a total of 14,770 words as of this morning.
Here’s hoping for better days.
How was your January?
My goal is to stay positive and live fully in 2017 (and in the years to come). I’m not entirely optimistic about the state of the government and such, but I’m cautiously hopeful and pragmatic—I can’t fix everything, but I can fix the little things and be open and aware.
I’ve filmed a couple of videos for January 🙂 so there’s some newness to look forward to, but I’m keeping it simple with the goals for 2017.
- Reread some old favorites (yep, there’ll be a video on that)
- Feed my yoga practice
- Walk more
- Write consistently (and survive the mess in between)
- Practice food freedom
- Save for travels
That’s it. See you around for the ride 🙂
I only just realized it’s Friday (!). Where has the time gone? My days are a blur; I’ve been off all week. Been writing, cleaning, and mentally preparing for the feasting and gifting. Can’t wait to hand out all the presents and finally clear the corner in my bedroom where they’re piled.
This may be the last video for the year… or maybe not… all depends on how things turn out. If it’s not, see you next Friday. If it is, see you next year 🙂
The post I had planned feels wrong in light of recent events, so I leave you with some happy, sleepy kitties.
Because we all need a little rest…
and some kitty side-eye action.
See you Friday with a 2016 recap video.
I’m having a hard time getting into the holiday spirit this year. For lots of reasons. It’s been a rough year—rougher than some, not as rough as others, but in this moment, I’m just not feeling it. It’s been pretty hard to put on a smile for folks at work, especially with the usual party madness. I’m not a party person to begin with; I don’t seek out situations wherein I need to expend energy to make people think I’m excited. I’m also not a religious person; the “true” meaning of the holiday season doesn’t really do it for me. I follow the traditions because they’re traditions, and I grew up within the faith (more or less), so I guess Christmas is as close as it gets. As of this moment, I have next to no decorations, and no desire to spend more money augmenting the few winter-themed items on display in my living space.
I have a jar forest, a snow garland, and a pine cone tree I made years ago . That’s as good as it’s going to get.
Tomorrow, I’ll put on a brave face and try not to wear myself out with the effort.