the troubles don’t stop coming

Can 2012 be the worst year ever? I’ve had a few bad years, but this one is really taking it to a new level.* Nothing life-threatening (and for that I am eternally grateful), but the woes, worries, and stressors just keep coming. For one, I’ve had too many kitty issues this year. Why are the kitties making me worry and cry so much?! Then there are the car troubles and bills bills bills. I even had to see my dentist because my unconscious teeth-grinding was making my jaw hurt like mad a couple of weeks ago. I need one good month. Or a mini-break that does not end in me coming home to a brand new batch of trouble (as happened after I returned from my last two vacations).

Gotta just keep breathing. Zen. Yoga. Grrr…. stop teeth-gritting.


*I’m one of those weird academic types who thinks of years in terms of school years rather than Jan-Jan.

oh boy…

Now that all my classes are fully online, I don’t need to print as much as I used to when I was taking traditional classes… I’ve managed to limit my printing to save ink and paper, going so far as to rely on a folder of pdfs to “print” recipes and the like when I’m browsing online. Having managed to reduce my printing needs, it caught me as a surprise when I finally exhausted my last pair of color and bw ink cartridges. I have no more ink. It’s bloody expensive to acquire more. There must be a cheaper way to get ink than HP direct? (the best offer I’ve found thus far). I am now -$71… this had better last me a good long time. Economy print for all.

In which I take a close look at my prospects and laugh hollowly

Am experiencing the pre-semester slump… those days when I really wish I were done with school and/or had never gone back to school to begin with, and could just find a well-paying job with decent hours 😦 . Have I mentioned that I am so over school? I am. I have been since I was completing my last program. It’s the reason I scoff when people ask why I don’t just go for my PhD. I just think, Why? Why would I want to torture myself with another useless degree? Because happy-go-lucky though I may seem, I realize that I will probably be over-qualified/over-educated and under-paid for many years to come. If you are considering graduate school as a way of improving your career potential… don’t. At least, don’t unless you really love it and are willing to pay the price of loans (unless you luck out and get a free or mostly free ride… I did the first two times. It’s the third that’s killing me), and the prospect of job hunting in a non-existent market.

Don’t get me wrong; I loved the process of getting my MA in English… I just wish there were jobs to warrant the time I’ve spent in school. I have no idealistic ideas about saving the world through reading by getting my MLIS. I am doing this purely because I had no other prospects and libraries will not hire you as a librarian unless you have an ALA-approved library degree. I wish it weren’t so, but if I want to remain in an academic environment and not teach, library school it is. 4 more classes to go. 2 semesters (counting the one that I am currently dreading). I like my classes. I like my classmates. I just wish I didn’t have so many doubts regarding the future and the possibility that I may one day have to change careers again… or fall back on my English degree and go into education. Anyone looking for a part-time editor/writer/researcher?

what a waste

My day has been trampled upon! And now it is 3 o’clock and I have barely accomplished anything, other than getting stuck in traffic for half an hour after bravely venturing forth to do groceries in an area of town that is filled with the elderly mad. Upside, I smelled some lovely fresh watermelon cups that proved to be as tasty as they were fragrant. Almost makes the half hour I spent in school zone traffic seem worthwhile.

While my morning was wasted, I did manage to change the theme colors to reflect a crisp blue and yellow spring mood… and then realized that I was inadvertently channeling school spirit. Oh well, still looks nice.

How do you tell your boss “No.” without making it seem that you don’t want to be a “teamplayer”?

I have this side job that I really enjoy. It’s in the field that I have chosen to pursue and I’ve met some great people. However, the director of the program has approached me twice regarding duties that are unrelated to my job and that I feel are absolutely wrong for me.

He first approached me about a possible teaching position, and I explained that my recent decision to quit teaching had led to my applying for this position; as such, I am not looking to return to that field.

Tonight he approached me to see if I would act as a sort of student motivator, making calls to students who have stopped attending class. I tried to tactfully explain that I feel that I am not an adequate person for the job, as I do not like making phone calls and am not someone with that sort of sales-pitch personality. He insisted and advised that I give it a try and see how it goes.

I don’t want to give it a try.

I know this is not something I want to do. Partly, because I have a laissez-faire attitude to teaching – if you don’t care enough to show up, that’s not my problem. And partly because I have no desire to bother people while they are working/eating/relaxing/whatever.

I don’t want to seem like I don’t want to be part of the team, but this duty has nothing to do with my being a library assistant, and there are others who are better qualified to handle such a task.

I am hoping that it will not come up again, but if it does I want to be prepared to tell him no in a professional and well-argued manner.

I don’t want to lose a job that I actually enjoy, but I know that this is a task that will stress me out and make me feel as anxious as I feel at my other job.

Is it wrong that I do not want to do this? Should I accept a task that is unrelated to my job and most definitely not part of my job description? Do I offer to not work on the two nights that the other librarian is there, if it is a matter of my being superfluous?

unspeakable green things

Third cold of the season. I feel awful. And my room is in no fit state, which is making me feel even worse because my surroundings look just as awful as I feel. Obviously, my immune system is off on holiday. I haven’t had so many colds since I was in high school… which makes me suspect that I caught it from one of the students that I tutor… young virus/bacteria-traps that they are.

I need to get better, being sick makes me lazy and useless.

v.g. time last night

Spent weekend re-reading Bridget Jones’s Diary and so will write post in manner of Bridget.

alcohol units: 3(ish), cigarettes: dozens (all secondhand as don’t smoke), calories consumed: thousands, though all in name of good time and mostly mixed drink derived

Hurrah for pre-graduation outing and fab friends! Was all mellow and free as a free thing without a care in the world as had just submitted grades and could not  be bothered to worry about work, or lack thereof. Enjoyed self immensely and had lovely time.

Spent night at E’s, as was too tipsy to drive home but realized too late that light packing was far too light – other than nightie, forgot to include all other necessary bits (ie. toothbrush/paste, change of clothes for morn, etc.). But such incidents are likely to happen when one compares self to Bridget.

Speaking of which, noticed that Bridget is now more relevant to self than ever as impending spinsterhood panic is more likely in mid-20s than teens. Also, having distant relatives ringing up and asking about lack of smug couple-dom whilst reading Bridget is far too ironic.

a mid-week week in review

So Monday was all sorts of hell. Lots of things went awry.

Tuesday signaled the beginning of an awful lot of unusual happenings on campus, or maybe not unusual… but unexpected?

First, there were the half-naked firemen. Yes. Half-naked firemen. ‘Nuff said.

Then, there was the return of Scary God Man (as I like to call him). A super-ultra-conservative preacher who turns up around finals week each semester to make with the smiting (he threw a Bible at a student once). He has a sign. Actually, he is a sign. He wears an outfit covered with random lines about why God hates everyone but him.

The irony, while scary God man was raining down the fire and brimstone, the hot firemen were taking pictures with giddy girls.

With Wednesday came the on-campus Green Market and Scary God Man part deux. Green Market 1, Scary God Man 0. The allure of exotic veggies, smoothies, and free green bags drew all the crowds away from SGM.

Plus, there were coconuts. There was a guy climbing the palm trees by the library and tossing down coconuts. Sadly, no coconut water (or yum yum coconut meat) for me; the lingering sense of confusion and annoyance caused by Monday‘s happenings made me forget that the market was going to be held, so I had no cash on hand.

But today was happy mail day! Making up for all prior mishaps.

I arrived home from work to find two packages waiting for me:

1. The beautiful cameo locket that I ordered from the Spellbound Wings Etsy shop

I realized it was big when I saw the measurements on the site, but I never imagined it would be so big. It completely exceeded my expectations and I could not be more pleased 🙂

2. I also received my copy of The Tales of Beedle the Bard. With all the thesis madness, I forgot that I had pre-ordered this, so it was a nice surprise. Probably the last Harry Potter related book I will ever buy 😦

Amazon’s packaging was great, I especially love the instructions.

it starts

So I just checked my email and found a message from one of my close friend’s asking a) if I had gone to see Twilight, b) if I have read the book, and c) if I don’t absolutely love Edward. Because being a lit major, I must have read it.

Yes, I read it when it was first published (I blame the apple on the cover, I have a thing about apples).

And no, Edward does not own my literary heart. That honor still goes to Mr. Darcy (closely followed by Capt. Wentworth and Mr. Thornton).

against my better judgment

So… I’m kind of intrigued by the whole Twilight movie phenomenon/fiasco (depending on which side of the fence you’re on). I kind of missed out on my chance to go with a crowd on Friday, but this group was made up of the sort of fangirls who take the story way too seriously, so it may not have proven very wise to see it with them. My expectations for this thing were very low when they announced that they were going to adapt it, so the reality cannot possibly be worse. I kind of want to see it now, if only for the lulz. 

Oh, good giddy god, I can hear girls talking about it at the table next to mine… It’s a bit awful.

I have to admit, I have this love-hate relationship with the series. I like it, in a “I can’t believe I’m actually reading this” sort of way. So much of the series goes against my idea of good storytelling, but I still want to keep reading it (except Breaking Dawn, even my desire to know how it ended could not overcome the squick factor – and I didn’t even make it to the weird pregnancy bit, I learned about that on Cleo’s blog).

Then there’s the whole weak, needy “heroine” thing. Can Bella take three steps without needing to be rescued? It seems not most of the time. Not to mention, self-destructive, cliff-diving, motorbike rebel Bella (see New Moon).

Still, for some reason, I want to experience the disco-ball dazzle moment.