Everything I know I learned from Labyrinth

Labyrinth was (and still is) one of my absolute favorite movies and probably one of my greatest pop culture influences. I started watching this movie before I could really understand what was happening… I’m not sure what I made of it as a toddler, but there seems to have been no lasting harm.

These are the top 10 things I learned from Labyrinth

1. If an androgynous man in tights offers you his crystal ball, do not sass him.
Just don’t. Whether or not you take him up on his offer is a different matter altogether.

2. All those stories about nice fairies are wrong.
Folktales are full of wicked fairies. Stop believing in sugar-coated fairy tales.

3. Be very specific when asking friendly strangers for directions.
They might just send you on the wrong path.

4. Nothing is ever a piece of cake.
Just when you think things are going swimmingly, something terrible will happen. It always does.

5. Watch out for riddlers and gropers.
Need I explain?

6. Never let others handle your peaches.
You may end up in a hallucinogenic dreamscape.

7. All your childhood toys really are just junk.
Don’t become a hoarder. You’ll end up like the garbage lady.

8. A bunch of misfits can do anything, even take down the Goblin Army.
That’s some serious inspiration.

9.If the androgynous man in tights offers to be your slave if you do as he says, you’d better know your answer.
Or it might turn into some 50 shades fiasco.

10. David Bowie is the greatest.
He is.

against my better judgment

So… I’m kind of intrigued by the whole Twilight movie phenomenon/fiasco (depending on which side of the fence you’re on). I kind of missed out on my chance to go with a crowd on Friday, but this group was made up of the sort of fangirls who take the story way too seriously, so it may not have proven very wise to see it with them. My expectations for this thing were very low when they announced that they were going to adapt it, so the reality cannot possibly be worse. I kind of want to see it now, if only for the lulz. 

Oh, good giddy god, I can hear girls talking about it at the table next to mine… It’s a bit awful.

I have to admit, I have this love-hate relationship with the series. I like it, in a “I can’t believe I’m actually reading this” sort of way. So much of the series goes against my idea of good storytelling, but I still want to keep reading it (except Breaking Dawn, even my desire to know how it ended could not overcome the squick factor – and I didn’t even make it to the weird pregnancy bit, I learned about that on Cleo’s blog).

Then there’s the whole weak, needy “heroine” thing. Can Bella take three steps without needing to be rescued? It seems not most of the time. Not to mention, self-destructive, cliff-diving, motorbike rebel Bella (see New Moon).

Still, for some reason, I want to experience the disco-ball dazzle moment.