*this has been a WEEK
5:30 am – Really tired this morning and barely want to get out of bed. Had an anxiety attack at 1 am and another at 3 am that left me reeling. I think I slept for about 4 hours, definitely no enough.
breakfast toast, biscotti, and two cups of coffee (I’m running low on biscotti)
7:30 am – check email and plan out my schedule for the week
8 am – back on chat
9ish – manager type stuff… signing forms electronically because no printer.
[neighbor always has a loud cough, but now it sounds particularly dire]
11-12p social distance chat with work friends
lunch and test zoom with BF who is semi working remote
1pm very awkward work meeting with all faculty and staff…
[took a nap because the tiredness was too much, came back to a million emails – the curse of remote work]
3:30+ emails, surveys, answering questions, scheduling meetings
woke up ok, soon entered crisis mode after learning my gran was injured and headed to the hospital. My fear for my family’s health is now code red.
8-10 – did my job as planned to stay busy and keep my mind occupied. chatted for an hour with one of my coworkers who was very kind. chatted with BF to feel a connection. Waited for calls from mom and updates.
I am going through all the stages of grief.
the rest of the day was a wash of meetings and anxiety. Good news, my gran had no fractures, albeit lots of bruises, and was sent home to recover.
one of my coworkers traded for my morning hours, so I decided to take the morning mostly off, check email, and forget about everything for a while. Finished the day with the usual work stuff, but I felt much better.
Things that have been helping: l-theanine for my anxiety, walks, checking with the boy on google hangouts. lots of calls with mom.
Also, reading a heck of a lot of romance, but that’s unchanged since the world became a trash fire in 2016. Let’s just say, my choice of reading material is a reflection of my inability to focus on much of anything. HEAs forever! At least in fiction.