I’m struggling, y’all. Really struggling. It’s that frog in a pot feeling where everything has been adding up for so long that I hardly noticed until it reached a boiling point. I’m unhappy. Not depressed, just unhappy. Discontented. Malcontented. Feeling like I’m behind in all areas of my life—health, career, finances, etc. I can’t even blame it on 2020. If I have to trace the origin, I’d say it started sometime in 2017, when so many things in my life seemed to go off the rails. I’ve been trying to pull it back together for years and this is the culmination, that generalized feeling of what the heck am I doing with myself? I’m not posting this for sympathy. More so, because this space has always been a place where I can express myself somewhat openly and where I’ve documented much of my adult experience.
I recently posted a video about coming to terms with the very real burnout that I’ve been experiencing for the last 1.5-2 years or so. I’ve been slowing down and taking the time to really look after my needs, but that doesn’t stop the world from spinning. I’m working on myself, committing to better habits and starting with my health (because without health, what do we have?). I don’t have the energy to go into the details, but I’ve gone through three separate health scares since 2020 and the mental toll has been as challenging as the physical strain. I’m tired of not feeling like myself and I’m ready to make a change.
Not sure how often I’ll post updates, but I’m going to make this a regular series as I track my progress and share my goals. For now, know that I’m working on a 6 month plan to address my physical health by increasing movement, improving my diet, and building consistency. Mostly, it’s returning to old habits that I thought ingrained but which took a hit over the last two-ish years when I returned to the office following a roughly 8-month stint of WFH life. Three injuries, 2 biopsies, and several health flares didn’t help.
Keep an eye on this space for future updates and good luck on your own journeys.
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