Category: life lately

life: searching for something like equilibrium

The last few weeks have been interesting. I was forced to rest because of an ongoing pain in my ankle, which may or may not have been triggered by an elderly lady literally whacking me in the back of the leg with her grocery cart one fine spring day, but alas. I may not be 100% sure of the origin but I am 100% sure that I am tired of the setbacks when it comes to my physical well-being. I need a list to keep track of all the stupid (and I mean stupid) injuries I have had over the last 5 or so years. Yep, I’m tired.

Anyhow, after several scheduling delays, I got a cortisone injection, dealt with a boot, and then discovered it was all in vain. My pain is likely my Achilles (which I suspected all along!) and not a result of my previous (and repeated) ankle sprains. *deep sigh*

I’m trying other options now. Like DIY physical therapy and shoe modifications (because I’m also tired of spending on doctors and PT appointments when I can do the moves at home–no offense to the PTs. They’re lovely. I just can do without the $40 copay at every visit).

Egads, this blog is getting ranty 😅. Welcome to life lol.

Anyhow, I went to California amidst all the drama (post-boot, luckily) and returned refreshed, reinvigorated, re-energized, other words that start with R, but mostly ready to take control of my path again. I’ve been floundering and wallowing for too long. I have goals and dreams and aspirations that I’ve set aside and allowed to go to waste for too many months. Depression is a bitch, but I need to do more for myself. Here’s to doing. 🥂

Also, here’s to the love SFMoMaxRM exhibit. It got me back to California sooner than I expected and gave me the push I needed to re-engage my creativity. We will not speak of my finances… that is a different project.

Here are some of my favorites from the show.

selections from SFMOMAxRM gallery exhibit

I posted a few more photos from my trip on insta, if you’re curious.

my summer of seeking joy

in which I attempt to find joy among the sadness… mostly through avoidance and kpop 😭😅

otherwise known as where have I been for the last year?

Hey. Hi. Hello.

So let’s address the elephant in the room… I mostly disappeared across most of my socials for the last year. Why? ✨ depression ✨

But, for real. Depression. Like proper, post-traumatic, life-hit-the-fan-and-my-sense-of-identity-came-crashing-down depression. A lot of things in my life ground mostly to a halt, including writing/editing, vlogging, blogging, and more. I fell back on not so great spending habits and burned through a good bit of the previous year’s savings even before the sharp rise in cost of living made things more untenable for my single lady lifestyle.

It’s been rough.

I picked up my camera several times but the thought of putting that energy into the world felt wrong and I didn’t want to have to watch myself while editing, so why would anyone else? I deleted those recordings.

In January, however, I told myself I would stop wallowing and make my own joy, even if things were trash. And that’s what I’ve been doing, though a lot of things have been trash–I injured my foot (don’t ask me how, I have no idea), have had several “why am I here?” moments at work, had to pay for car repairs I wasn’t planning on, and have been living with the real knowledge that I am likely going to lose my dad sometime in the not so distant future (we all live with the knowledge, obvi, but this is knowledge with a countdown clock). My mom’s #1 feline son is also in a delicate spot healthwise (see my last post if you’d like to share or donate to our GoFundMe). It’s been a lot, but I persist! Joy, or else!

moments of joy polaroid series
Moments of joy captured throughout the summer.

I’ve started writing again, though the progress is slow. I’m committed to publishing late this year, or early next year, and making up for the time this sadness has stolen. I’ve been making more time for my parents and getting closer to old friends. I’ve also been letting go of who I thought I was and filling the well by finding opportunities to connect with who I am as a creative, rather than another cog in the academic capitalist enterprise that is my day job.

more moments of joy polaroid series
More moments of joy.

I made one resolution for 2026: to try a new boba place every month. That’s pretty emblematic of the last year. Small joys, living in the moment, and savoring the sweet things. Sometimes it works, sometimes it leads to more anxiety as I worry about money and the terrible cost of living crisis.

Anyhow, explain to me why it took me nearly two weeks to finish this post? 😅 Time is a construct and I’m going to blame it on the moon.

Amidst the chaos and dopamine-chasing, I told myself the only way out is through, so I started vlogging again. Like this post, it’s a start.

If you’ve made it to the end, you’re a real one 💜🫰🏻🌟

Support Prince: Help a Cat in Need 🙏🏻

Supporting a beloved pet’s emergency care amid financial struggles; your help is greatly appreciated.

Hi all! It’s been a while since my last update and life has been throwing me for a loop.

Most recently, my mom’s cat (favorite #1 son) had to be rushed to the emergency vet due to heart failure. She’s on a very limited income and my own recent upheavals have made this quite the challenge. I created a GoFundMe to help her pay down the ER bill (over $6k) while we work through the on-going costs of Prince’s care until the unfortunate day comes.

If you are able to help, I would really appreciate it. Even sharing the link to the page is a huge help. 💜🙏🏻

🔗GoFundMe

video: March Update ☕ Life Lately: thinking out loud and updates on life, writing, and all the things

a sit-down chat

March has been interesting… I’ve been ill, which means everything has been slow and I feel dreadfully behind. Join me for a sit down ramble as I think out loud about life, writing, and the current state of my projects and editing goals. Plus, thoughts on the future of my self-publishing plan, the indie market, and reading as both joy and resistance in light of the current climate.

💜

For more, subscribe to the blog.

You can follow my “quiet days” on YouTube or follow for writing updates on Substack.

Visit my linktr.ee or learn more about my writing at emiliagracewrites.com.

Note to longtime readers: In case you missed the last year’s update, I changed my name to Emilia Grace on most of my socials to align with my penname.

video: let’s do our nails and talk about life – a Q1 update

A Q1 life update: coming out of grief and loss, finding financial balance, managing health, and a hint at upcoming writing projects and future publishing goals.

Mentioned:

life: is this my midlife crisis? part 3.

Ways I’m saving my sanity at the moment:

  • Budgeting and tracking every darn cent because cost-of-living adjustments ain’t adjusting around here. Everything is overpriced and we’re all feeling it. NGL, I’ve had a few anxiety attacks about the clear lack of balance in my life at the moment and the only way I’ve managed to get a handle on the anxiety is to track diligently and evaluate where I need to scale back and be more mindful. I’m starting a low/no-buy series over on the channel as a form of accountability and self-reflection.
  • Decluttering. Despite a few small declutters over the last two years, I kept missing the opportunity to engage in a solid, top to bottom declutter over a concentrated period of time. The amount of stuff in my home was starting to feel overwhelming and contributing to the overall lack of contentment that I was experiencing in my space over the last two years. During my winter break, I went through 80% of my home. All that remains is the closet, but that’s a project for another time.
  • Not writing. I finished the project I started last spring sometime near the end of October. I loved writing that novel, but it also helped me realize I was experiencing very real burnout. The number of non-writing days I logged because I felt physically ill or mentally drained outnumbered the writing days (I keep a highly detailed time log with notes). I gained a second wind that saw me to the end when I acknowledged I needed to make a real change in my daily habits and identify what matters most. The draft is waiting to be reviewed, and I plan to get to that in February, but I need to focus on my health and professional goals for a little longer.
  • Moving. Just moving. Walking, running, Pilates, yoga, resistance training. Some days, I just aim to get 10k and call it a win. I’m maintaining a solid routine and regaining the strength and stamina that I lost after 2 sprained ankles, an injured arm (and subsequent biopsy), a nasty bout of covid, and a rough cold.
  • Journaling. A lot. I started doing morning pages in September. One day, it just felt like the thing I needed to do and I’m glad that I gave in to the urge. I don’t journal every morning, but it’s become a regular part of my week. I’m also keeping a health and wellness log where I detail my symptoms, supplements, NSVs, and other changes, plus, my nightly journal (I’ve been using the Leuchtterm 1917 line a day, 5-year journal and just started a new one for 2024).