social distance diaries: days 106-112

you know the drill… wear your mask.

Day 106, Monday

Kitty is still adjusting to being a single cat. Another weird, sleepless night where she kept calling for me.

Despite the tiredness, I was in the mood to dance. Spent an hour playing Just Dance and got a proper sweat session. I’m too anxious to run for fear of hurting myself and ending up in urgent care (wouldn’t be the first time), so my workouts have been limited to walks, yoga (when I can focus), and lately resistance band circuits. Dancing is a nice change.

Spent $75 on summer dresses to enhance the sans pants life. I’m tired of wearing the same three t-shirt dresses I’ve been wearing for three years.

Day 107, Tuesday

A quick morning laundry session as I struggle to find the best way to limit laundry time… it’s tough when you have to borrow your partner’s laundry machine because you don’t have your own and don’t want to risk the laundromat.

Learned that one of my aunt’s had a stroke last night. We’re not particularly close, but it’s still troubling to learn of a third person that I know having an attack in as many weeks.

Day 108, Wednesday

Learned my aunt’s stroke is COVID related and she’s been moved into a special unit for recovery. My uncle and cousins have to get tested. We’re not particularly close, but I hope they recover. Unfortunately, they’re the sort of people that were having house parties with more than the county-recommended 10 guests or less. They all probably got it at a Father’s Day party. Not surprising.

More troubling for me, my sister needs to get tested after one of her coworkers tested positive. She lives with my dad and her mom, both of whom are in vulnerable categories. I’m trying to remain calm and hope she didn’t have contact with that person.

Had to teach my mom how to use Zoom so she can meet with her doctor next week. Some of her chronic issues have been causing some concern. I hope it turns out to be nothing.

Day 109, Thursday

Planning meetings for future reopening of the university. I’m not going to stop working from home any time soon, but I’m part of the review committee to ensure a safe return for students and staff when we start to reopen.

My cat has been acting odd. Vet was closed by the time I called, so I’m going to have to call Friday morning and hope that they’re open. Otherwise, it’s going to be a complicated weekend… I really don’t need more complications.

Day 110, Friday

Took the cat to the vet and he couldn’t find anything obviously wrong with her. Gave her b12 and a steroid in case it’s inflammation or arthritis. Also gave her some fluids in case of dehydration and said to return on Monday if she doesn’t change.

Went to the cardiologist for myself in the afternoon… had an echocardiogram and stress test done (the tech asked “do you ever have chest pain?” while doing the echo, so there’s that… but the stress test was fine.). Sent home with a 24 hour Holter monitor.

Day 111, Saturday

Kitty is not eating much, though the b12 should’ve opened her appetite. I suspect she has a hairball again (there was a big one about two months ago). I have to monitor and see what happens this weekend. I am so tired of being worried about everyone lately.

Day 112, Sunday

Late to bed = late to rise. All the noise was hard to handle and I had a migraine that made it even harder to fall asleep. Finally, rolled out of bed around 9, which meant a late start for everything… A less productive weekend than I wanted, but I managed to have a few pomodoro editing sessions.

If my neighbors actions during the weekend is any indication, we’re in this pandemic for the long haul…

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social distance diaries: days 100-105

keep wearing those masks. make it fashion.

Day 100, Tuesday

Trying to get back into the swing of things after being out for two days. It doesn’t seem like a long time, but emails have a way of multiplying even under normal work circumstances… meetings kept me from getting much done TBH.

Day 101, Wednesday

Day off for doctor’s visits (for myself and mom).

One of my coworkers had a heart attack recently, and my mom’s neighbor had a stroke… that spurred me to finally see a cardiologist to discuss the heart palpitations, faintness/dizziness, shortness of breath I’ve been experiencing for a little over a year.

For the record – I’ve seen my GP twice (after the first time I nearly passed out and, more recently, when he prescribed anxiety meds), as well as my endocrinologist, and my gyno to check all my hormone levels… none of them found anything, but I’m not fully satisfied with anxiety as a diagnosis. For one, my mom has mitral valve prolapse; I don’t want a misdiagnosis if it’s more than anxiety (there was no pandemic when it started), or a regular part of my body being slightly different.

I have a followup scheduled for an EKG, stress test, and Holter monitor.

Day 102, Thursday

Finally catching up on work… It’s surprising how quickly things pile up, even when I tend to stay on top of tasks and prioritize.

We’ve finally hit the summer heatwaves and it’s been miserable being at home (I don’t have central AC and my wall units can barely cool the room when the sun hits in the afternoon).

Sunset was at 8:15pm FFS. The sun was unrelenting.

Day 103, Friday

It’s HOT. I ordered a second fan to try to cool my home office (ie, my living room) while I keep working from home. Kitty is as languid as I feel. I think she’s shed some of her undercoat because she looks slimmer. I feel ya, kitty.

Finally feeling better after a three day migraine attack. I’m pretty sure it was caused by my lack of restraint over the weekend (there was dairy and other stuff that doesn’t sit well with my body) and the heat.

No heart palpitations today, so that’s a plus.

Meanwhile, the state just announced 9000 covid cases in a single day. Wear your masks, people! I have zero tolerance for selfish disdain for human life.

Day 104, Saturday

I’ve felt decent for the last two more… more than decent actually, and I’m taking full advantage of the ability to focus and write.

Since I haven’t been going out to eat (I can count the number of times I’ve had takeout), I decided to take the plunge and try Daily Harvest. 1) because I’m tired of coming up with lunches and snacks, 2) because I’ve been eyeing their ads forEVER. If you want to try it yourself, I have a referral link.

Day 105, Sunday

Another good writing day. Using a timer and setting pomodoro type sessions has helped me reset my writing routine for the weekend. My weekday writing sessions are usually an hour long, but I’ve had a hard time sitting with the words when there’s so much to do at home. This is an improvement.

Listened to an excellent episode of Smart Podcast, Trashy Books. Highly recommend. It was just what I needed to remind me that it’s ok to just take care of myself and stop. Episode 411. Caring for Tired Brains with Alexis Rockley

Meanwhile, the number of covid cases keeps hitting new highs. I’m still working from home, my risk is minimal, but I’m also an empathetic person. Between the fear and sense of collective grief, it’s been tough. YouTube videos from folks who’ve survived the virus are one of my weird ways to find hope.

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social distance diaries: days 92-99

Day 92, Monday

It’s a long story, but once again I had to take my mom to an Urgent Care Center. Luckily, this time it was a minor issue (bursitis), but it’s been nearly a month of “do you want to see a doctor?” arguments. This is her third visit to a center in as many months and I’m really hoping to avoid a fourth. My greatest concern is keeping my mom well. She has too many underlying conditions to fare through an infection without complications.

Sat in the car for 2.5 hours and had to drive for another hour each way to drop her off, drop off prescriptions, and drive back to my place. I’m just glad it wasn’t a sprain or tear.

Day 93, Tuesday

Time for my monthly grocery run! I was not as anxious as I was the last two times, so that’s progress. I went in around 8am and was back in the car at 8:33am, which is a record. My gran’s home health aide has been helping with some of the groceries, so I didn’t have to buy nearly $400 worth of stuff this time (1 trip for 2 households = a bad time for all).

Meetings in the afternoon and chat. Trying to catch up on all that I missed yesterday.

Day 94, Wednesday

A blur of a day.

Day 95, Thursday

It’s been a busy week. Meetings and playing catch-up before taking two days off for my birthday. I take a week off each year, but what’s the point this year? A couple of days seems sufficient. It’s not like I’m going to do much other than rest, read, and recharge for writing.

Migraine in the afternoon when the weather turned stormy 😦

Days 96-99, Friday – Monday

Mini birthday staycation, quarantine-style. Had a few days to read and rest and do little more than eat all the things. The boy surprised me with an Animal Crossing-themed cake (because he loves themes) and some very special gifts. My birthday is usually quiet, so it wasn’t that different from the norm. We ordered takeout bbq and enjoyed a forbidden picnic (we didn’t realize the tables were still off-limits at the park).

Covid is back on the rise in Florida. Miami saw a significant spike over the weekend. My worries are on the rise with it, especially with regards to my family and my partner’s work situation.

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social distance diaries: days 78-84

Day 78, Monday

Meetings and lots of them.

Started writing again. It’s slow going, but it’s a start. It’s been difficult to write in my current mental state, especially when trying to write a Romance that has some heavy angst.

Day 79, Tuesday

I don’t even remember what I did on Tuesday…

I wrote for an hour.

Day 80, Wednesday

Collected Cara’s ashes. They didn’t have my number on record, which is why it took so long. I called to ask and they already had him. They provided a ceramic paw print, which broke my heart just a little.

Meetings that I didn’t have on my calendar threw me for a loop.

Wrote for another hour.

Day 81, Thursday

Tired and feeling a little off, but I suspect mid-cycle hormone mess. I’ve noticed this increases my anxiety and makes my heart race.

Meetings and work on writing projects. I have ideas for future research that I’ve been mulling for months; I think the time is nearing for introspection…

Day 82, Friday

What would’ve been the uni’s chair’s retreat was hosted on Zoom. It was very informative. Our local infectious disease expert spoke candidly about the situation and what’s going to happen moving forward. Her conclusion: herd immunity won’t save us and vaccines (if/when we have them) will likely be annual.

I wore makeup for the first time since March…

Day 83, Saturday

Suddenly, incredibly sick with indigestion. Spent most of the morning feeling awful and the afternoon in a languid haze. Managed to get some writing done.

Day 84, Sunday

Donated blood for the first time ever. I’ve always wanted to but haven’t because of reasons (not least of which is my episodes of lightheadedness). It went well. Phlebotomist said, “Wow! You’re a bleeder.” Friends, I am apparently. It only took about 5 minutes to complete the donation. Part of my motivation was to donate, but the more selfish motivation was to 1) learn my blood type 2) participate in the covid antibody study that the blood bank is supporting.

Stay safe, wear your mask, register to vote!

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social distance diaries: Days 71-77

Day 71, Monday

It’s Memorial Day. It’s raining and I’m in no hurry to return to anything that looks like a gathering.

Was a little short of breath this morning. I have a pulse oximeter and my sp02 was 94-95 for a little bit, but then rose to 96/97/98 later in the day. I’m hoping it was a fluke, or maybe a sign of the mild anemia that I’ve started to suspect post-period. Either way, we’re back to careful monitoring. TBH, I’m anxious after last week’s emergency trip to the ER vet and my mask situation at the time. I’m not as anxious as I was following my mom’s ER visit in March, but I’ve had heart palpitations again. Anxiety or the potential anemia? Who knows. My labs were normal last time. I really want to see a cardiologist, but that’s not likely to happen anytime soon. I’m waiting to see those numbers drop in my area… that two-week drop is still a distant dream.

Day 72, Tuesday

Still having a hard time finding the energy to do much beyond the basics. I’m working, but taking it slow. There’s no writing today.

Posted a check-in video, if only to confirm that I’m still around.

Recorded June’s podcast episode, which was a nice distraction but wired me too much for sleep…

Day 73, Wednesday

Vet got the results. Confirmed lymphoma. At least he didn’t suffer for an extended period of time. Still hard though.

Old department issue came circling back… I’m out of ideas on this one.

Flash floods all over town. Lots of anxiety as the boy got stuck in the middle of the storm and I couldn’t help.

Day 74, Thursday

Took a scheduled day off to celebrate mom’s birthday as best I could. Baked funfetti muffins for her (frosting-less cupcakes, if you will) and picked up dinner for her at KFC, which is her favorite. I ordered her a lovepop card but was too late for it to arrive on time.

Spent some time with the boy. Have to admit, it makes me incredibly anxious every time.

Day 75, Friday

Panic attack or general, un-diagnosed bodily weirdness? I don’t know, but I had to drive the boy to work (his car got damaged in Wednesday’s flash flood) and proceeded to start shaking/going numb/have heart palpitations as I was driving back home.

Day 76, Saturday

I’m starting to learn that extreme exhaustion is a side effect of the attacks I’ve experience. No energy to do anything and dealing with some low-level depression.

Day 77, Sunday

Neighbors started dragging furniture and slamming doors at 5am. This after I couldn’t fall asleep the night before. Another low energy day.

looking beyond myself

There are complicated things happening in the world. My words are not adequate to express the injustice that black and brown folks experience on a daily basis. Take care of yourselves. Protect yourselves.

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social distance diaries: days 64-70

Day 64, Monday

Caved and placed my first instacart order for essentials from a bulk store. I didn’t want to go out three weeks in a row, so it was a choice. I tip well, so this was more than I would normally spend but not like I’m going out to eat, so…
Basically, I’m an over planner and I’m not waiting for hurricane season to ramp up before getting supplies.

Day 65, Tuesday

Dropped the cats off at the vet. Trying to remain hopeful, but kitty has been very lethargic since his last visit, refusing to eat or drink much and just hiding all day. He was fine right before the visit, which makes me wonder if it’s residual pain from the biopsy (having had one, can confirm it hurts) or post-vet visit trauma. Usually, his moods don’t last this long.

Vet called because he found 6 bumps total after shaving him. I never felt these bumps until I felt the first one last Monday. I’m worried it’s an aggressive fibrosarcoma that has already spread, but we’ll have to wait for results. Vet suggested removing the large lump (the first one I noticed) and waiting for those results to decide on next steps. I fear this will be another round of pet cancer and can only hope that I’m wrong.

Day 66, Wednesday

We lost him. Nothing else mattered on this day.

Day 67, Thursday

A rough night, thinking if I should’ve done anything differently, not gone through with the surgery, rushed back to the vet, knowing that he was probably already dying and we didn’t know it until it was too late, that his body couldn’t handle the surgery, that those would be our last moments together. I’m feeling particularly raw. It’s going to be a hard day.

Day 68, Friday

There were meetings. I didn’t have much energy. I took a short walk.

Day 69, Saturday

Starting to feel a little more myself, but I didn’t have the mental space to do anything productive. I worked chat from noon-6pm. The day is mostly a blur. I read most of the day while waiting for chats.

Day 70, Sunday

I thought I would have energy to write, but I didn’t. I read some more. Spent time with the girl kitty.

Much of this week was a blur. Grief is like that.

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social distance diaries: days 57 – 63

social distance diaries

Day 57, Monday

Meetings all day.

Felt two lumps one my male cat. I hadn’t noticed these before, they’re in a spot that is hard to feel and I probably thought it was the edge of his elbow if I felt it before. I already had a visit set for Wednesday to update their shots, but now I have an added worry. I’m hoping it’s not cancer. I don’t want to go through that again.

Day 58, Tuesday

The best day for groceries is Tuesday. Shelves are stocked and if I stick to my preferred store, I don’t have to go through the stress of an over-crowded store (*cough* Aldi and Walmart) while trying to shop for two households.

My car is suffering from lack of attention. Tire pressure was down and my oil must be pitch by now…

Worried about my dad. My sister (same dad only) has been having some on-again-off-again boyfriend coming over. The kind that doesn’t believe covid is real and refuses to wear a mask. Real gem. She’s also 55 years old, so there’s no pass for youthful ignorance. She just doesn’t care about her parents, both of whom are chronically ill. I just hope they don’t bring contagion into the house, for my dad’s sake as well as her mom, who is a nice lady and doesn’t deserve to be put at risk after having heart surgery less than two months ago.

Day 59, Wednesday

Vet day. Did a contact-less drop-off (or as contact-less as you can get when handing off pets and signing forms outside the office. I got a call in the afternoon that they’re both going to need a dental cleaning (I knew this was coming — they stinky), and the mass on boy cat is going to need to be removed. I’m still praying for a benign lump and not a cancerous mass. Today would’ve been my old cat’s birthday and it’s a little too much to think about another loss.

Ironically, I got my stimulus check today. I planned to donate part of it and save the rest, but it’s looking like there won’t be any saving. I’m probably going to donate to Feeding America, but I’m also looking into animal charities.

Day 60, Thursday

Boy kitty had the smaller lump lanced yesterday. He wasn’t feeling great and spent the night hiding under my bed; I spent the night waking up to check on him. Everyone is deeply tired.

Sent a flurry of emails trying to convince my colleagues to run for open positions on the library and university committees. No one wants more meetings, but it’s part of the job, so someone’s gotta do it (I’m on the nominations committee, it’s not some random passion for committees on my part).

Day 61, Friday

Concerned about boy kitty. He keeps hiding under the bed and I haven’t seen him use the litter box since the previous night.

Worked on annual reviews for my department, lots of email, and scheduling meetings for next week.

Plastered the cracks I discovered on my bedroom wall. No paint, but I’m not really fussed about it at the moment.

Crossed some animals.

Day 62, Saturday

Boy kitty is in a better mood, though I’m worried about what his mood will be after the surgery. He’s been struggling with balance since the biopsy and not eating or drinking much.

More things I did not need: a giant nail in my tire.

Day 63, Sunday

Finished a solid chapter. Spent about 3 hours revising and made good progress. Still slow, but that’s just how it goes for now.

First round of laundry complete.

Frustrated with my weird hippie neighbors. The smell of their weed keeps filtering into my place and it 1) smells awful, 2) triggers my migraines and makes me insanely nauseous. Fun.

Most of Miami is coming out of lockdown tomorrow, but I will remain working from home, likely through the Fall semester. I’m definitely not complaining. I’m not eager to be out in public more than absolutely necessary. My body doesn’t need anything else to fight.

I keep meaning to record a video update, but for now, you can hear my dulcet tones on the podcast:
Episode 32: The Princess Bride
Minisode 32.5

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social distance diaries: days 50-56

social distance diaries

*in which we have a banner

Day 50, Monday

The inevitable migraine day. Spent some time working on a review, but had a hard time focusing.

Worried about the reopening process in Florida. Miami is still mostly under lock down, but public spaces have reopened and (of course) people have been irresponsible in their behavior.

Day 51, Tuesday

Woke up early for the first time in what feels like weeks. Got some writing time before settling in for work and meetings.

The boy came over for the first time since lockdown. I’ve been to his place to do laundry and have a couple of yard dates, but he hasn’t been over since day 1. He was surprised to find that my apartment is unchanged except for the tiny table I use as a work station and the art supplies on my kitchen table. TBH, part of me is anxious about being in close proximity. It’s not a good feeling and I hate that this is even a thought that I need to have.

Day 52, Wednesday

Another exhausting grocery trip. It’s so hard to get everything for two households, I decided to take a separate trip for myself. I have regrets. Also an increased level of anxiety. Every time I go out, I wonder if this is the time I catch the virus. Yes, I’m wearing a mask (2 layers of t-shirt fabric with two layers of polypropylene as a filter. Ordered some filters today); I wash my stuff, quarantine what I don’t need right away, but there’s no guarantee and it’s scary when people are not observing social distance measures.

Day 53, Thursday

Hard to focus today. I’ve reached a state where I’ve had to accept that my writing is definitely taking a backseat for the sake of mental and physical health. My lofty plans are not so lofty anymore and an hour of work 5-6 times a week (even if it’s not a particularly productive hour) feels like a major accomplishment. My goals for the year were upended as soon as I started revising my current project, and the rewrite I planned for the manuscript I queried last year is a distant dream.

Yes, after wrestling with the thought while working on other projects, I realized a rewrite is the best thing I can do for that novel. I started it when I was deep in grad school, finding my feet in a new career, and going through major life changes. It’s a project that has grown with me and one that I come back to again and again because I believe it’s worth the effort. But the effort is still going.

Day 54, Friday

Laundry, we meet again.

The university hosted a town hall to discuss the “repopulation of campus”. The current philosophy is no faculty will be forced to return to campus as long as they can continue working from home. We do, however, have our own number of “essential workers” and I hope we can continue to keep them safe when we do reopen. Things are going to look very different this Fall, with only 40% of the on-campus student population (and that reduced to a hybrid model to limit numbers).

Day 55, Saturday

Decided to celebrate Mother’s Day a day early and ordered lasagna from Olive Garden for my mom. She’s been talking about a lasagna craving for days, but I wasn’t feeling brave enough to go buy all the supplies. Take out lasagna it is. I also got her a tiramisu and soup. She was incredibly pleased. My gran isn’t really aware of what’s happening, so her presents are of a supportive nature to assist my mom with her care.

Day 56, Sunday

Another day at home. Even South Florida is feeling the effects of the polar vortex —- it’s unusually cool for May and it’s been raining all day. Spent a few hours writing, not that I made much progress. It’s as good as it gets. Worried about day, who had a sore throat this morning. Is it his reflux or something worse? My sister lives with him and her mom and isn’t doing much to isolate. I can’t do much other than wait and hope it’s nothing. I feel so helpless. Mom and gran are doing ok, but every day brings a new worry.

Did 30 minutes of Yoga with Kassandra. I’ve been doing her morning movement series (in the evenings), but it’s been some time since I’ve done a proper session. It felt good to get a deep stretch. Needed.

 

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social distance diaries, days 36-42

Day 36, Monday

Woke up at the crack of dawn to get myself to the grocery store. No lines, because I went to a store in a part of town that’s mostly under construction, so it wasn’t the horrifying/overwhelming experience I had the last time I went shopping. The bill was insane. My mom/gran go through a lot of meat and milks (yes, plural. different kinds, like fishes) and stuff that comes in boxes. $$$$

Took a nap and felt like I lost a decade coming out of it…

Day 37, Tuesday

Ended up having to go back to the grocery store to pick up prescriptions, but there was a refill snafu and inadvertently ended up at the wrong store. Three grocery stores in two days was more excitement than I needed.

Day 38, Wednesday

Had enough mental focus to focus on work and writing. Noticed my feet looking ratchet and decided to give myself a pedicure (damn you seasonal eczema!)… which escalated to an epsom bath, masking, and self-care reading time.

Not so great stuff: kitty has been having what looks like a hairball issue, but we’re going to have to go to the vet to be sure. My gran’s Alzheimer’s has gotten worse since her daycare routine was disrupted and my mom is having a hard time getting her to eat and drink.

Day 39, Thursday

Had a bad night. Insomnia hit and the worries spiraled so that I spent a solid hour thinking about death. I’m nearing my period, which often means insomnia and depression, but this is a darker turn than my usual.

Gran ate, but mom had a hard time with breakfast. It’s hard not being able to help and worrying about what it would mean if she starts to refuse food and needs support. My anxiety isn’t great.

I took a “nap” which was more like an hour-long meditation on the couch. No moving, just being.

Drafted my annual report for work which includes a lot of false starts and “because of coronavirus” explanations for things that didn’t happen.

Day 40, Friday

Was planning on taking kitty to the vet because she was having a hard time passing a hairball, but then I woke to the best hairball ever! Never have I been so happy to see a weird cat by-product.

Chat and video chat with coworker friends. Then a quick trip to mom’s to drop off some stuff I ordered for her. I convinced her to go outside with my gran and kept my distance for a quick visit. My gran looked happy and I’m glad I was able to cheer her up. It’s the first time I’ve seen her in person since her fall and her bruising is mostly gone, but there’s a small bump on her forehead that still hasn’t gone down.

Spent the afternoon alternating between updating my CV for my annual report and driving to and from BF’s house to do my laundry. I’m counting the weeks by the number of laundry trips…

Too tired of cleaning, so I asked the boy to pick up some takeout. It’s the second time I’ve given in to the lure of food from the outside. I gave him cash, since it was my idea, and extra for a decent tip.

Day 41, Saturday

Writing, more housework, laundry. Realized in the evening that I forgot to take my meds, something that’s only happened a handful of times in the last 15+ years. No wonder I was exhausted.

Day 42, Sunday

More writing (I’m so glad I found some of my focus) and lots of rain. Met online to record the next episode of the podcast, which marks my semi regular return from hiatus.

I was tired this week (PMS) but felt generally well. I’m glad of that.

 

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social distance diaries: Days 22-28

Day 22, Monday

It was a long night. I was up from 1-5 because I was having a hard time breathing through my nose and major pressure behind my eyes/forehead. I eventually fell asleep for a few hours after emailing my folks to let them know I wouldn’t be showing up for my 8-10 shift.

Consulted with the university’s medical director (v. nice doctor) who recommended I get tested just to be sure. Based on our conversation, it’s a 50/50 whether my symptoms are mild “asymptomatic” covid (given my possible exposure at the ER and pharmacy within the last two weeks) or anxiety spurring my usual ailments into overdrive (my temperature has fluctuated but never hit fever level, have had chills, rapid heartbeat, tiredness, sinus pressure, a scratchy/sometimes sore throat that comes and goes, and migraine type headache above my eyes, and toilet troubles that haven’t quit for 5 days at as of today).

I managed to get an appointment at one of the local testing sites and have a follow-up appointment with my PCP to discuss my anxiety.
After lots of phone calls, went about my day and finished with meetings and email.

Day 23, Tuesday

Went to the testing site. It was VERY organized (and Miami people behaved themselves!), Showed up an hour early, lined up (you never leave your car), and was being tested an hour later (exactly when I was scheduled). Whether it’s positive or negative, I just want some closure at this point.

Day 24, Wednesday

Went to see my PCP. Wore a mask, everyone at the office was wearing PPE. He ran some bloodwork but shared the same sentiment as the doctor I spoke to on Monday – this virus has a range of symptoms, so we won’t know until we have a test result. Either way, he tested by CBC, HDL, and TSH, to rule out issues related to anemia, cholesterol, or my pre-existing condition.

I’m calm and not in a state of heightened anxiety but my heart still feels like it’s over exerted sometimes and I have to take a deep breath. Lungs checked out fine. Like I told a fried, I wanted that stethoscope action to give me some insight.

The wait for results continues.

Day 25, Thursday

Slept ok. I’ve managed to get a full night during the last two days. Heart has been a little thumpy today.

Worked my usual shift and trying to catch up on emails from the current and last week. So many messages getting lost in the shuffle.

Trying to get back to projects that I haven’t been able to focus on.

Day 26, Friday

Meetings and stuff to catch up on. I haven’t gone outside in a few days because there are too many people out when I’m free. Played Just Dance to exercise.
Started re-watching Buffy as research for the podcast… it’s going to be hard choosing my episodes.

Day 27, Saturday

Another day indoors. Did some writing and took care of housework. The house is still a bit of a mess, but at least it’s something. Joined in on the podcast for a brief return.

Day 28, Sunday

Worked on another scene. At this rate, I will be working on this draft for months, but it’s the best I can manage in my current state of mind. I have regrets but I’m trying to work through them and keep going. Did half my laundry, the rest to be done tomorrow or Tuesday. This is what happens when you don’t have access to a washer and need to borrow your BF’s in order to avoid the laundromat.

My mental state is better at the end of this week. I also feel better despite needing a few more naps than usual throughout the week. Hoping for results (and answers) this coming week.

 

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