life: still kicking around

I am alive! But barely. I caught the flu right as I was preparing to start my health reset (not a diet, just a kick in the rear exercise-wise). As happens, I was a mess for a good week and a half and am only just getting over the gut-wrenching cough, headaches, dizziness, and general breathlessness. It’s been rough, but I really do feel like I’m finally on the mend.

Of course, I tried to write and that didn’t go well. I’ve been focusing on my promotion file, so my writing is limited to weekend sprints at the moment, but even that went on hold while I recovered. I have a hard time divorcing my academic voice from my creative voice, so I need to set clear boundaries between professional writing and fiction. That means weekends, which means slower, but less schizophrenic results.

So here we are, sloth-like but chugging along.

life: work. time. pcos.

Hello. Long time. Yeah,ย that happened. All schedules out the window; my head is awhirl with deadlines and documents, and no space for all the rest. Still working on promotion, still gathering evidence and examples. My NaNo project is on a slow roll, but progressing in between all the rest. Meanwhile, my home is a mess and my financial fast is not so fast. With all that’s happening, side goals have taken a step back.

In other news, I most likely have some form of PCOS, but my appointment was rescheduled just as I was driving to the office… so the official diagnosis will have to wait. I suspected. I have several of the symptoms, and my weight has been settling in odd places (odd for me). I want a diagnosis, but I don’t want to take hormones or metformin (for reasons I won’t go into, but it involves dependence, band-aid fixes, and other health issues that won’t jive with the treatment). I’m researching all I can, tracking my fertility (no babies! I want nothing to do with that!), and looking into medical research on supplements and other types of nutritional support (library with med school database access = librarian on the hunt!). Just received my latest order from Vitacost and a book from amazon, so it’s a sort of PCOS-inspired haul.

And my book arrived too! #pcosdiet #pcos #research

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I’m going to try this, look into other books for ideas, and rely on the Whole30/paleo as the basis for my eating habits. I seem to do well on a paleo-inspired diet, though I’ve not been the best at maintaining a strict protocol in recent months.

It may remain quiet around here, but feel free to follow on the insta if you want to check in or say hi ๐Ÿ™‚

life: what have I done?

It’s never a “good” time to apply for promotion… not when it’s academic and requires a sh*t-load of documentation, writing, and compiling of letters. But I applied, and now I’m in it to win it (she says with a strained smile). I’m nothing, if not committed. But it does mean that my lofty writing goals are going to become a bit more down-to-earth. Namely, there’s no way I can reach my current word goal, while also putting together a promotion file, keeping up with reviews (something I do professionally, outside the blog), and grading essays. It’s crunch time! And some things are going to have to wait. I’m glad I’m between drafts with project #1, because there’s no way I was going to get any work done. I’m going to keep writing, but I’m going to scale back. Take things slow and steady, rather than rush and try to meet some arbitrary word count (it’s a rough draft, after all, there’s always Camp NaNo in July).

Things may be a bit quiet around here, but I’ll continue to check in from time to time. Wish me luck!

life: this world we live in

I had a video for today, but too much has happened and I just can’t bear to make light of it. My heart is breaking in so many ways. I’m scared for my future, my friends, my family, my country, and I just can’t find a way to wrap my mind around it all. There is just so much that I can’t fathom. I don’t know how we’ll get out of it and I can’t see a bright future at the end.

My truth is this:

I grew up in public housing, in a single parent home. I was poor. Public television inspired me. I ateย free school lunches. I completed an undergraduate degree because of grants, and a graduate degree because of an assistantship. I completed a second grad degree because of a subsidized federal loan. I worked my ass off for a future that is at risk because someone else’s elected official(s) does not value the work I do nor the people I come from.

And then there is the threat to our peace and our environment. I just don’t have the words.

life: headspace and budgets

Howdy y’all! So I’m in a weird headspace… literally. Feeling tired, wired, and spacey all at once. In short, I am a squirrel. Kind of manic, but lazy at the same time. Could be hormones, could be the weirdness that comes before a migraine… could be both (probably both). Anyhow, it’s going to be aย week.

But back to real talk… I’ve been adulting. It’s been a while since I took a good, hard look at my finances and spending habits. I’ve gone through at least one raise and one rent hike, so it’s about time I take a good look at where my money is going. After several failed attempts at using a cash budget and an online tracker, I’ve decided to just keep a written log of my spending—keeping my receipts, tracking my purchases, and just reviewing where my $ is going at the end of the week, when I’ll pop it into a spreadsheet and tally up the amount. I tried tracking in my bullet journal, but that just didn’t work, so I’m using a dedicated notepad just for spending.

I’m fine when it comes to money, but I would like to scale back and take better control of my spending. Mostly impulse buys… and coffee. That’s kind of a problem, but one I hope to address by building better habits. We’ll see.

the view from Sunday: morning after and the hazy laze

I stayed out past my bedtime for the first time in aย very long time. Seriously, I’m too old for this. Spent the morning finishing a chapter because I knew I would be drained by lunchtime. I was right.

True Confession time: I broke my Whole30. It’s the first time since the first time (er… words? it makes sense when you think about it), but it happened and it’s ok. Lady time struck hard and I just needed the carbs. All in moderation, but definitely the right choice. I felt better right away.

Here I am looking tired and stuffed full of rice
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I’ll get back to full Whole30 once the situation clears. For now, I need carbs. Rice and bread to be precise.

Kitty cats have lazed about and taken over, as per usual.

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In other accomplishments: did my nails (only minimal staining) and only spilled a splash of my fancy hair oil when I knocked it off the counter.

I have the clumsies.

the view from Sunday: naps with cats

I didn’t realize how tired I was until I passed out between the cats. What started as a quick nap, turned into a two-hour, dead-to-the-world snooze in full pretzel mode. The cats do not know how to share the wealth, the bed is theirs between the hours of 9-5 and they know it. So with my head wedged between my arm and Cat #1’s rear, I slept.

Which means no writing , no yoga, no walking, no cleaning, no nothing. Well, that’s not strictly true, I did do my groceries this morning, before the rest of the world was out and about on a Sunday. So that’s one thing off my list.

Yesterday, I woke up tired, but I dragged myself out of bed and kept going under the influenceย of tea and coffee. Today, it wasn’t happening. I’ll take it as a sign and rest. The writing will wait ’til tomorrow (I’m taking the day off for a doctor’s appointment), and the yoga will be sweet and easy.

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life: month in review

January felt busy… in more ways than one. It also felt strained and hectic, but that’s a post in itself. Just breathe, I tell myself. I am a pessimist at the best of times, I just need to breathe.

Anyhow, looking back, I accomplished a lot of things, and that’s something to celebrate after all the badness that threatened to bring me down.

  • I celebrated my ninth anniversary and took a mini-break to join in my friend’s wedding.
  • There were dates, and lots of them. Just time to get away from the daily grind.
  • I cut my hair.
  • Finished 25 of the 31 days of Yoga Revolution (will make up the missing days this week, and complete day 31 tonight).
  • Balanced festive eating with paleo-ish eating, which was good.
  • Read a few books:
    • Air & Light & Time & Space by Helen Sword (on academic writing, pre-pub)
    • Without a Summerย by Mary Robinette Kowal (Regency fantasy goodness)
    • Polish your Poise with Madame Chic by Jennifer L. Scott (for the inspo)
    • Demon’s Curse by Alexa Egan (for the mystery, fantasy, sexiness)
  • And rewrote/revised/edited a total of 14,770 words as of this morning.

Here’s hoping for better days.

How was your January?

life: new year, new outlook

2017

My goal is to stay positive and live fully in 2017 (and in the years to come). I’m not entirely optimistic about the state of the government and such, but I’m cautiously hopeful and pragmaticโ€”I can’t fix everything, but I can fix the little things and be open and aware.

I’ve filmed a couple of videos for January ๐Ÿ™‚ so there’s some newness to look forward to, but I’m keeping it simple with the goals for 2017.

  • Reread some old favorites (yep, there’ll be a video on that)
  • Feed my yoga practice
  • Walk more
  • Write consistently (and survive the mess in between)
  • Practice food freedom
  • Save for travels

That’s it. See you around for the ride ๐Ÿ™‚