writing – marginalia and such

writing: revealing my not so secret project

In honor of Valentine’s Day (my favorite holiday, matched only by Halloween), I thought it would be fun to finally share some details about the romance novel I’m currently querying. Before You Called Me Baby is my mid-2019 NaNoWriMo U-Turn, a story so vivid in my mind that I set aside another project to embark on a whole new journey in a genre that I love, but had never written. It’s gone through multiple rewrites, edits, proofreads, and betas, and now we’re in the query trenches…

Before You Called Me Baby moodboard aesthetic

Yane has spent years pining for her best friend, James. Right when it looks like James noticed, his ex walks back into the picture. But with less than three months to put together an art show, or kiss her grad degree goodbye, the last thing Yane needs are messy feelings distracting her from her goal. Too bad life never goes as planned.

BEFORE YOU CALLED ME BABY is a slow burn, friends-to-lovers romance featuring a Cuban-American art student on the brink of graduation secretly pining for her best friend, who may or may not be back together with his ex.

lately, a list.

Writing a novella while querying the project I started writing in 2019.

Struggling with family stuff – health, mental wellness, housing insecurity, the whole she-bang. It’s been a lot.

Teetering on the edge of burnout at work.

Let’s not even talk of recent unexpected expenses.

Most of my recent reads are audiobooks. Maybe I’ll post about them, maybe I won’t. The most fun was the second series in Ilona Andrew’s Hidden Legacy series.

Started PT for my arm after two years of diagnosis guesswork. It seems to be helping. Still looking into other issues (like the weird pain I get in my jaw that goes beyond TMJ).

Sitting here, trying to figure out how I’m going to fix my mom’s latest disaster.

Still vlogging as an exercise in creativity and joy seeking.

social distance diaries: days 134 – 140

Day 134, Monday

Had a weird night with weird aches. Not gonna lie, I get nervous every time. My nightmare scenario is something going wrong and having to go the ER in the middle of this mess.

Went walking after lunch and took a path I haven’t taken in a while… I live near one of the nursing homes with the most covid cases in the state and lowkey panicked because there were two unmarked white trailers across the street. (update: they were gone the next day)

Day 135, Tuesday

Started my second week of running 🙂 Happy about it.

Trying not to panic about the storm that may be heading our way. There’s only so much I can panic about at one time, and I’m not going to freak out about this one (yet). It does, however, mean that I’m making an emergency plan and grateful that my post-cardiologist visit quarantine has resulted in no symptoms.

Rescued an injured bird… glad my mom has a cage just for these situations.

Day 136, Wednesday

It’s been a struggle to stay motivated today, but I reached my writing stretch goal for the month so I’m taking a couple of days off to focus on other tasks before the start of the new month. Also, charging backup batteries in case the power gets knocked out in my neighborhood because, let’s face it, it goes out during a strong rain storm and there’s a light pole in a precarious situation just down the road (and has been for at least a year while they repair other poles in the area).

As I write this, I have taken two naps and had 2 non-breakfast coffees. (I’ve scaled back while WFH-ing, so that’s a lot).

I am itching to do more cleaning and decluttering, but keep reminding myself that there’s not much I can do to pass it on if I do… decisions… In the meantime, I got nostalgic and ordered Fall candles and a retired fragrance from Bath and Body Works that I definitely don’t need. This will be the summer of my Cucumber Melon comeback. We’re going to spray it like it’s 1999.

Day 137, Thursday

Darn heart monitor woke me up at 2:30 am and I didn’t fall asleep until nearly 4:00 am. Sigh. Tired, but completed my morning run… Not sure what Saturday run possibilities will look like, what with the storm threat and all.

Watching my first virtual conference of the season. TBH, I feel like a I’ve “aged” out of these conferences. Everyone is doing the same thing they were doing back in 2009 when I attended my first one… Also, next year marks my 10th year in the profession… it all circles back.

Day 138, Friday

Another trip to the vet with the outdoor kitty, and the “watch and wait” game with Hurricane Isaias. I’m not too fussed, but I’m still debating waiting it out at my mom’s house or staying home. Pro: mom’s place is less likely to lose power, Con: I’d have to finish packing and stuff my cat into a crate that she hate. (There are some other issues too, including the always present threat of asymptomatic covid transmission, but the cat/crate situation is the most pressing and draining).

Day 139 and 140, Saturday and Sunday

Spent the weekend at mom’s, waiting out the storm that veered away (no complaints here). It’s always hard spending a significant amount of time at my moms—we get along and I love her and my gran, but it always reminds me why I left. I can only help so much and we work best when we have our own spaces.

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social distance diaries, days 36-42

Day 36, Monday

Woke up at the crack of dawn to get myself to the grocery store. No lines, because I went to a store in a part of town that’s mostly under construction, so it wasn’t the horrifying/overwhelming experience I had the last time I went shopping. The bill was insane. My mom/gran go through a lot of meat and milks (yes, plural. different kinds, like fishes) and stuff that comes in boxes. $$$$

Took a nap and felt like I lost a decade coming out of it…

Day 37, Tuesday

Ended up having to go back to the grocery store to pick up prescriptions, but there was a refill snafu and inadvertently ended up at the wrong store. Three grocery stores in two days was more excitement than I needed.

Day 38, Wednesday

Had enough mental focus to focus on work and writing. Noticed my feet looking ratchet and decided to give myself a pedicure (damn you seasonal eczema!)… which escalated to an epsom bath, masking, and self-care reading time.

Not so great stuff: kitty has been having what looks like a hairball issue, but we’re going to have to go to the vet to be sure. My gran’s Alzheimer’s has gotten worse since her daycare routine was disrupted and my mom is having a hard time getting her to eat and drink.

Day 39, Thursday

Had a bad night. Insomnia hit and the worries spiraled so that I spent a solid hour thinking about death. I’m nearing my period, which often means insomnia and depression, but this is a darker turn than my usual.

Gran ate, but mom had a hard time with breakfast. It’s hard not being able to help and worrying about what it would mean if she starts to refuse food and needs support. My anxiety isn’t great.

I took a “nap” which was more like an hour-long meditation on the couch. No moving, just being.

Drafted my annual report for work which includes a lot of false starts and “because of coronavirus” explanations for things that didn’t happen.

Day 40, Friday

Was planning on taking kitty to the vet because she was having a hard time passing a hairball, but then I woke to the best hairball ever! Never have I been so happy to see a weird cat by-product.

Chat and video chat with coworker friends. Then a quick trip to mom’s to drop off some stuff I ordered for her. I convinced her to go outside with my gran and kept my distance for a quick visit. My gran looked happy and I’m glad I was able to cheer her up. It’s the first time I’ve seen her in person since her fall and her bruising is mostly gone, but there’s a small bump on her forehead that still hasn’t gone down.

Spent the afternoon alternating between updating my CV for my annual report and driving to and from BF’s house to do my laundry. I’m counting the weeks by the number of laundry trips…

Too tired of cleaning, so I asked the boy to pick up some takeout. It’s the second time I’ve given in to the lure of food from the outside. I gave him cash, since it was my idea, and extra for a decent tip.

Day 41, Saturday

Writing, more housework, laundry. Realized in the evening that I forgot to take my meds, something that’s only happened a handful of times in the last 15+ years. No wonder I was exhausted.

Day 42, Sunday

More writing (I’m so glad I found some of my focus) and lots of rain. Met online to record the next episode of the podcast, which marks my semi regular return from hiatus.

I was tired this week (PMS) but felt generally well. I’m glad of that.

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social distance diaries: Days 22-28

Day 22, Monday

It was a long night. I was up from 1-5 because I was having a hard time breathing through my nose and major pressure behind my eyes/forehead. I eventually fell asleep for a few hours after emailing my folks to let them know I wouldn’t be showing up for my 8-10 shift.

Consulted with the university’s medical director (v. nice doctor) who recommended I get tested just to be sure. Based on our conversation, it’s a 50/50 whether my symptoms are mild “asymptomatic” covid (given my possible exposure at the ER and pharmacy within the last two weeks) or anxiety spurring my usual ailments into overdrive (my temperature has fluctuated but never hit fever level, have had chills, rapid heartbeat, tiredness, sinus pressure, a scratchy/sometimes sore throat that comes and goes, and migraine type headache above my eyes, and toilet troubles that haven’t quit for 5 days at as of today).

I managed to get an appointment at one of the local testing sites and have a follow-up appointment with my PCP to discuss my anxiety.
After lots of phone calls, went about my day and finished with meetings and email.

Day 23, Tuesday

Went to the testing site. It was VERY organized (and Miami people behaved themselves!), Showed up an hour early, lined up (you never leave your car), and was being tested an hour later (exactly when I was scheduled). Whether it’s positive or negative, I just want some closure at this point.

Day 24, Wednesday

Went to see my PCP. Wore a mask, everyone at the office was wearing PPE. He ran some bloodwork but shared the same sentiment as the doctor I spoke to on Monday – this virus has a range of symptoms, so we won’t know until we have a test result. Either way, he tested by CBC, HDL, and TSH, to rule out issues related to anemia, cholesterol, or my pre-existing condition.

I’m calm and not in a state of heightened anxiety but my heart still feels like it’s over exerted sometimes and I have to take a deep breath. Lungs checked out fine. Like I told a fried, I wanted that stethoscope action to give me some insight.

The wait for results continues.

Day 25, Thursday

Slept ok. I’ve managed to get a full night during the last two days. Heart has been a little thumpy today.

Worked my usual shift and trying to catch up on emails from the current and last week. So many messages getting lost in the shuffle.

Trying to get back to projects that I haven’t been able to focus on.

Day 26, Friday

Meetings and stuff to catch up on. I haven’t gone outside in a few days because there are too many people out when I’m free. Played Just Dance to exercise.
Started re-watching Buffy as research for the podcast… it’s going to be hard choosing my episodes.

Day 27, Saturday

Another day indoors. Did some writing and took care of housework. The house is still a bit of a mess, but at least it’s something. Joined in on the podcast for a brief return.

Day 28, Sunday

Worked on another scene. At this rate, I will be working on this draft for months, but it’s the best I can manage in my current state of mind. I have regrets but I’m trying to work through them and keep going. Did half my laundry, the rest to be done tomorrow or Tuesday. This is what happens when you don’t have access to a washer and need to borrow your BF’s in order to avoid the laundromat.

My mental state is better at the end of this week. I also feel better despite needing a few more naps than usual throughout the week. Hoping for results (and answers) this coming week.

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video: writing and living with chronic pain (a followup)

In which I sit down and blather on about trying to write with chronic pain, and how the heck you’re supposed to get on with work when you can barely think (?!).

Also, my sense of time is the WORST. In the video, I say I posted on this topic a year ago… friends, it was 2 months ago *facepalm*

MENTIONED

the view from Sunday: July 7, 2019

Happy Sunday! It’s been a while since I’ve written one of these posts (I even removed the category). Maybe I’ll turn it into a thing again. Anyhow, editing of the “Sea Story” has officially begun. Kitty is happy to lounge among my mess of planners and documents.

This is what happens when I clear my desk.

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life: June – month in review

june in review

It was a busy, productive month.

Sent out more queries.

Finished the read-through for my current WIP, which will see me through the next quarter.

Bought my first maxi dress, which makes me feel extra breezy and stylish (not something I thought possible because maxis always seem the purview of taller girls). Much needed for the hot, hot heat. (I may have settled on this particular brand because the name sounds like mine – Grecerelle)

Took a week-long break and ate a lot of cake and things to celebrate my birthday, including real dairy ice cream (with the help of Super Enzymes). My body did not hate me for it (although my joints are currently protesting and my eczema is flaring *sigh*).

But the pièce de résistance(!)

The boy surprised me with a penguin encounter for my birthday.

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video: May 2019 writing update – WIP

(I swear, I’m pleased in this picture. I just have RBF.)

Going off plot, switching genres, trying a new POV, backtracking, and figuring things out… finishing my Camp NaNo project, accepting that it’s just a draft, and planning for my next project. *hint: it’s more revisions*

Are you working on a writing project? Want to share your revision process? Drop a comment down below 🙂

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video: writing with a chronic illness

I’m a writer who deals with chronic illness. Fatigue, migraines, and generalized pain often leave me with brain fog and deep exhaustion (among other things). I also have a 9-5 and a 2 hour commute. Time is short and the stories won’t write themselves. I don’t have a magic fix, but I have developed strategies to make the most of the good days and plan for the bad.