I told myself I would make monthly updates and, gosh darn-it, I will make monthly updates.
October started with intentions. I made goals. I wrote stuff down. I committed to making changes. And changes have been made. I started with a detailed list of all the challenges, traumas, health crises, and major life disruptions that I’ve experienced since late 2016, which I have pinpointed as “the year” when my life started going sideways. I didn’t number it, but the list is three pages long, so that gives you an impression of the kind of burnout I’m dealing with. I even have data to back up the downward trend in my health—year to year since 2017, my average daily steps decreased from 8K (4k in 2020/21, when I sprained not one, but both ankles on separate occasions) to 5/6k over the last year. This might not seem like a lot, but I was a 10K+ girlie for years, leading an active lifestyle and maintaining a solid amount of NEAT throughout the day. So, my first goal is to increase my steps and overall movement. I started by incorporating two walks throughout my workday, using the restroom on the top floor of my building unless I can’t, and clocking 45 minutes of daily activity (with the help of my Fitbit). Doable, realistic steps for my busy, over-committed, short on time lifestyle that are keeping me going and making me feel a sense of accomplishment as I hit my targets at least 5 days a week.
My second goal is to reel in spending. After years of a solid, minimal-ish lifestyle, I went off the rails into depression spending fueled by a treat yourself mentality following the 8 or so months that I spent isolated while working from home. I’ve confessed to this in my vlogs, but I went well into mindless consumerism, particularly when it comes to makeup and clothes. I have way too much and it’s been making me just as anxious as the impact on my wallet. This one has been more of a challenge than the movement goal. I started the month with a solid bout of spending on clothes and makeup before telling myself that enough is enough. I hit a small bump last weekend after a particularly stressful week led to another dopamine-seeking session of semi-mindless consumerism (I say semi-mindless because I don’t regret the actual purchases, and they are of the useful variety, but I didn’t need to make those purchases right now.) Anyhow, we live and we learn.
I started budget tracking after several months of not tracking. Despite the spending sprees, I’m still within budget. That said, everything is more expensive than ever and my rent is increasing for the second time this year, so I’m feeling the strain and it’s triggering a lot of long held anxieties about money that stem from my childhood as someone who grew up poor. It’s a mind fuck, all around.
Subgoals include: increasing protein and watching my carb intake (macro tracking), focusing on strength training and recovery, and regularly analyzing my budget to find ways to save for the holidays and re-establish a sustainable relationship with money and spending.
Small, but steady steps.
I do have an ask though – What are your favorite non-dairy protein snacks? I really miss dairy based protein sources, but the symptoms aren’t worth it to me.
marginalia and such 