March has been interesting… I’ve been ill, which means everything has been slow and I feel dreadfully behind. Join me for a sit down ramble as I think out loud about life, writing, and the current state of my projects and editing goals. Plus, thoughts on the future of my self-publishing plan, the indie market, and reading as both joy and resistance in light of the current climate.
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You can follow my “quiet days” on YouTube or follow for writing updates on Substack.
And we’re back! Apparently, my body likes to remind me to rest by going absolutely ballistic and making me crash. I may have caught a mild bout of norovirus or ingested something absolutely heinous… no official diagnosis, but it had me 🤢🤮 for three days and left me with an awful, pounding migraine attack for well over a week. It took me about a week and a half to fully recover (eg. get back to my usual state of low grade exhaustion), during which I mostly became one with my bed (full rotting mode activated), consumed hours of Hulu’s How I Escaped My Cult, read a physical book and listened to an entire audiobook, and engaged in very little activity besides a few walks. It was a lot and left me feeling very behind in work/life/writing/general housekeeping. I hate this feeling, but I also hate I feel this way at all.
musings and ramblings from my sick bed
I am a frequent proponent of rest, so why is it that it takes an illness for me to take the kind of rest I so desperately need lately? Part of it is the pressure to meet the goals I set for writing and publishing in 2025. I’m not the quickest editor and I have three drafts in various stages of revision. I also have a list of to-dos to prepare for publishing. If I’m going to meet those goals, I have to work and that means consistency. Consistency means pushing through the days when I’m not motivated or energized. Lately, that’s been a real challenge. I even suspect I may be cycling through burnout again. The current state of affairs has been a distraction and source of anxiety, making writing even more difficult, let alone concentration. All this to say, the times are tough and my brain is on fire.
I started editing this week but it’s going at a snail’s pace. I want to do more. I want to write. But I pull up the draft and I can barely get the words to come together. 😞 Even writing about this has been difficult . Thinking through the mess of feelings/doubts, wondering if the effort will be worth it… It’s paralyzing, but there’s no way out but through. I’m going to keep chugging along and doing my best, because giving up isn’t an option for me. Rest, however, needs to be a top priority. It’s been too easy to fall back on old habits and doomscroll before bed. I need to re-establish a solid nighttime routine minus screens. I have a pile of print books. Let’s turn to reading instead scrolling. Reading is and has always been my greatest source of comfort. Back to books! Back to tea! Back to getting in bed before midnight and actually getting a solid night’s sleep! We can do this!
If you’d like to follow me on this journey, stick around and subscribe. 💗 You can also subscribe to my “quiet days” vlog series on YouTube or learn more about my writing at emiliagracewrites.com. I also post about my writing process on Substack. For more, visit my linktr.ee
Note to longtime readers: In case you missed the last year’s update, I changed my name to Emilia Grace on most of my socials to align with my penname.
Updates on editing book 2 and my progress on the draft…
Firstly, I cut my hair! Join me for a Valentine’s surprise and weekend writing session.
Updates on editing book 2 and my progress on the draft…
How I’m working through the big edits and refining the plot before moving on to the next stage of edits. Plus, balancing life chores and writing to keep things from falling apart during the week 😅.
I’ve been physically and mentally exhausted over the last few days. Life is life-ing and my body is going through it. I had too many tasks and chores to take care of this weekend, so the Sunday post fell by the wayside, but I wanted to share this tiny bit of hope that found me today.
I have two orchids in my shower, they’ve been with me for years, and they usually bloom once a year. I hadn’t given them much thought until I saw this tiny, baby bud starting to form.
I don’t know why, but it brought me a little bit of joy. I hope it brings you a little bit of joy too.
A small, slightly spendy grocery haul from the Fresh Market… #vlog #lowbuyyear
A small, slightly spendy grocery haul from the Fresh Market… filling in the gaps before the big shop and trying to make the most of what’s in my pantry and fridge before spending on more groceries.
Transitioning from January to February on the vlog
Transitioning from January to February on the vlog
Join me for a chatty, productive vlog, featuring an impromptu lunch date on campus, girl scout cookies, tea time, thoughts on niches, content, and the current direction of the channel.
Plus, details on my new substack, and a totally unplanned book haul (it was for a good cause!), with a side of existential dread on the current state of things 😅.
My love languages are time and touch, my partner’s are gifts and service, all this to say that Valentine’s Day (and birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries) is always an interesting time. This year, I’m deep into my low buy, and gifts are one area that I’m working on. I don’t want to engage in hyperconsumerism, and I know that we both have more than enough, so I’ve been focusing on experiences.
He’s been meeting me halfway. This year’s surprise was a luxury dining experience (which was lovely and not a little intimidating). However, as a gift person, he can’t help but gift an object in addition to the experience. I appreciate every gift, even as I stifle the thrifty girl in me who can’t help but cringe at the expense. It’s the challenge of having different values when it comes to objects and money–it’s not always easy, but after 16 years, I’ve learned to accept and appreciate (and only cringe a little). Relationships are hard. They take work. Understanding where he’s coming from (and how my own history colors my view on gifts) has helped as I try to balance living with less and appreciating the gifts that come into my life.
For more, subscribe to the blog.
You can also follow my “quiet days” YouTube or follow me on Substack.
my latest read, journaling and migraine essentials
I’m stuck.
The events of the last two weeks have taken a sledgehammer to my carefully laid out writing goals. Try though I might not to get sucked into the spiral of bad news, bad thoughts, and bad dreams, I can’t help it. I’m in that weird place between needing to know and knowing that there’s not much I can do. It’s also been a week at work, so I’m feeling extra vulnerable. As an elder millennial, I’m definitely part of the generation that always feels on edge about the future. I’m a generally optimistic person (or, at least, I try to be), but there are no guarantees in life and never does that feel more true than right at this moment.
One thing I noted during the course of my low/no buy, I never feel like I’m doing well. All my needs are met, but I always carry this sense of dread that I’m one stumble away from total disaster. Partly, it’s the ghost of growing up poor. Partly, it’s the very real truth that most Americans are one emergency away from total disaster. I’m doing fine. I know I am. My financial advisor tells me I’m doing fine.
It doesn’t change anything. I still carry that seed of dread.
So, here I am. Trying to keep the anxiety at bay, resisting the extremely counterproductive urge to buy stuff I don’t need for a hit of dopamine (the only thing I need is a new pair of shoes), and moving today’s to-do’s to tomorrow.
The growing list:
start editing Book 2 (started today)
edit and post two videos
publish the weekly blog entry
deep clean the bathroom (I’ve got a mold issue that needs extra attention.)
clean the apartment
print my new decluttering tracker and schedule 15 minutes a day to declutter
do my taxes
start the business of starting a business… (and all the steps therein)
and those are just the personal tasks.
I’ll get to them. It’ll be fine. These are the small things I can control, I’ll take them one at a time. It’ll be fine. For now, I’m reading The Stand-in by Lily Chu, cozying in bed with the cats, and not worrying about it.
I’ll get unstuck tomorrow.
Tonight, I’m going out for ice cream. 🍨
If you’d like to follow me on this journey, stick around and subscribe. 💗
You can also subscribe to my “quiet days” vlog series on YouTube or learn more about my writing at emiliagracewrites.com. I also post about my writing process on Substack. For more, visit my linktr.ee
Note to longtime readers: In case you missed the last year’s update, I changed my name to Emilia Grace on most of my socials to align with my penname.
