Tag: life updates
life: is this my midlife crisis? part 3.
Ways I’m saving my sanity at the moment:
- Budgeting and tracking every darn cent because cost-of-living adjustments ain’t adjusting around here. Everything is overpriced and we’re all feeling it. NGL, I’ve had a few anxiety attacks about the clear lack of balance in my life at the moment and the only way I’ve managed to get a handle on the anxiety is to track diligently and evaluate where I need to scale back and be more mindful. I’m starting a low/no-buy series over on the channel as a form of accountability and self-reflection.
- Decluttering. Despite a few small declutters over the last two years, I kept missing the opportunity to engage in a solid, top to bottom declutter over a concentrated period of time. The amount of stuff in my home was starting to feel overwhelming and contributing to the overall lack of contentment that I was experiencing in my space over the last two years. During my winter break, I went through 80% of my home. All that remains is the closet, but that’s a project for another time.
- Not writing. I finished the project I started last spring sometime near the end of October. I loved writing that novel, but it also helped me realize I was experiencing very real burnout. The number of non-writing days I logged because I felt physically ill or mentally drained outnumbered the writing days (I keep a highly detailed time log with notes). I gained a second wind that saw me to the end when I acknowledged I needed to make a real change in my daily habits and identify what matters most. The draft is waiting to be reviewed, and I plan to get to that in February, but I need to focus on my health and professional goals for a little longer.
- Moving. Just moving. Walking, running, Pilates, yoga, resistance training. Some days, I just aim to get 10k and call it a win. I’m maintaining a solid routine and regaining the strength and stamina that I lost after 2 sprained ankles, an injured arm (and subsequent biopsy), a nasty bout of covid, and a rough cold.
- Journaling. A lot. I started doing morning pages in September. One day, it just felt like the thing I needed to do and I’m glad that I gave in to the urge. I don’t journal every morning, but it’s become a regular part of my week. I’m also keeping a health and wellness log where I detail my symptoms, supplements, NSVs, and other changes, plus, my nightly journal (I’ve been using the Leuchtterm 1917 line a day, 5-year journal and just started a new one for 2024).
video: quiet days vlog 63 – life, writing, new hair, and pumpkins! 🎃
life: is this my midlife crisis? part 2.
I told myself I would make monthly updates and, gosh darn-it, I will make monthly updates.
October started with intentions. I made goals. I wrote stuff down. I committed to making changes. And changes have been made. I started with a detailed list of all the challenges, traumas, health crises, and major life disruptions that I’ve experienced since late 2016, which I have pinpointed as “the year” when my life started going sideways. I didn’t number it, but the list is three pages long, so that gives you an impression of the kind of burnout I’m dealing with. I even have data to back up the downward trend in my health—year to year since 2017, my average daily steps decreased from 8K (4k in 2020/21, when I sprained not one, but both ankles on separate occasions) to 5/6k over the last year. This might not seem like a lot, but I was a 10K+ girlie for years, leading an active lifestyle and maintaining a solid amount of NEAT throughout the day. So, my first goal is to increase my steps and overall movement. I started by incorporating two walks throughout my workday, using the restroom on the top floor of my building unless I can’t, and clocking 45 minutes of daily activity (with the help of my Fitbit). Doable, realistic steps for my busy, over-committed, short on time lifestyle that are keeping me going and making me feel a sense of accomplishment as I hit my targets at least 5 days a week.
My second goal is to reel in spending. After years of a solid, minimal-ish lifestyle, I went off the rails into depression spending fueled by a treat yourself mentality following the 8 or so months that I spent isolated while working from home. I’ve confessed to this in my vlogs, but I went well into mindless consumerism, particularly when it comes to makeup and clothes. I have way too much and it’s been making me just as anxious as the impact on my wallet. This one has been more of a challenge than the movement goal. I started the month with a solid bout of spending on clothes and makeup before telling myself that enough is enough. I hit a small bump last weekend after a particularly stressful week led to another dopamine-seeking session of semi-mindless consumerism (I say semi-mindless because I don’t regret the actual purchases, and they are of the useful variety, but I didn’t need to make those purchases right now.) Anyhow, we live and we learn.
I started budget tracking after several months of not tracking. Despite the spending sprees, I’m still within budget. That said, everything is more expensive than ever and my rent is increasing for the second time this year, so I’m feeling the strain and it’s triggering a lot of long held anxieties about money that stem from my childhood as someone who grew up poor. It’s a mind fuck, all around.
Subgoals include: increasing protein and watching my carb intake (macro tracking), focusing on strength training and recovery, and regularly analyzing my budget to find ways to save for the holidays and re-establish a sustainable relationship with money and spending.
Small, but steady steps.
I do have an ask though – What are your favorite non-dairy protein snacks? I really miss dairy based protein sources, but the symptoms aren’t worth it to me.
video: quiet days vlog [ep.62] 🌩️ cracked windshield fiasco, water water everywhere, and cats (again)
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- quiet days [ep.61] 🖼️🐈 Miami staycation featuring Van Gogh experience, cat cafe, pancakes, & more
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video: life lately… a chatty life update on burnout
quiet day diaries: week of October 4
This week got away from me. There were good days and bad days, a mild migraine that took three days to break (along with the weather), and a nagging sense of dread as I wait for a meeting that may or may not change things drastically for me at work (I’m really hoping for the not). I got a decent amount of editing done, but I think I maxed out this stage of edits and I’m ready to move on. There’s no sense in putting so much energy into individual word choices with such intensity when the draft is going to go through further iterations whether I get a trad deal or take the plunge into small business-dom and self-publish. I’ll give it another quick polish to prep it, but I’m feeling ready to query and try my luck. Once again, it feels like terrible timing with NaNo around the corner and the holidays right after, but there’s never a perfect time to start. I just have to start. First things first, I’ll prep my submission materials and made my list of agents. The rest is out of my hands.
I’m also leaning into the possibility of a NaNo project… I doubt I’ll “win,” but the real win lies in getting the darn thing out of my head and onto the page. I might be taking on too much. I need to avoid burnout, but it would be nice to try. Either way, it’s just a thought at this stage.
I’ve been making more time to take care of my physical self as well. It’s helping my mood and my migraines, but there are lot of complex feelings surrounding my current relationship with my body and my health. I would like to talk my feelings out in a video, but I’m working myself up to it.
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quiet day diaries: week of September 27
Monday
Back to the office and drama is brewing in my inbox… not looking forward to the meeting it’s tangled up in. Super tired today after a night of poor sleep. My evening was not the least bit productive, but a random conversation led to a David Bowie music video binge that took me back to my days trying to view music video clips on a dial up connection because I was so desperate for access to rare videos. Love that musical genius. Miss him always.
Tuesday
Slightly more productive at work at least. My after work writing schedule has been a bust and my goal to wrap up this stage by the end of September is not going to happen (I missed about 12 days of writing this month because of migraines and extra demands at work and home).
Wednesday
Welp. I’m caught in a situation that affects a bunch of jobs in my organization. Hoping this gets handled to everyone’s benefit and doesn’t become a dumpster 🔥.
Thursday
It was supposed to be a quiet WFH day. It turned into a busy meetings and email frenzy day. Really hoping that this situation can be resolved without it turning into a storm.
Friday
And there went my half day, which turned into an over hours day of phone calls and texts about the mess that’s been brewing. It’s been on my mind for days and will continue to linger until it gets resolved (One way or another. Hoping for the least painful option.)
Saturday – Sunday
A very productive weekend. Joined in for the Heart Breathings Double Down Sprints (it always takes me by surprise, though it’s a regular event), and managed to work through 2/3rds of the very long list of “look” phrases I’m replacing with action verbs. I’ve gone through several crutch words, but I left the most used ones for the end… look is not even the worst of the lot, but it’s too often used where a better phrase or word makes for a stronger sentence.
Had ice cream. That was a mistake, but we deal with it (cue the bloating, cramping, and skin issues).
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quiet day diaries: week of September 20
Monday
Back to the office and randomly selected for covid testing.
Tuesday
Took a half day to watch my grandmother while my mom got her flu shot. It’s become harder for my mom to get time for herself now that my grandmother is full bed-bound, so I stay with her when my mom has to go out. She took the opportunity to have a little Target shopping spree while she was at it.
I may have squeezed too much into my day because my migraine came back full force.
Wednesday
Migraine was terrible this morning. I have to host a meeting tomorrow, so I stayed home to get as much recovery time as possible. It’s likely a combination of post-period hormones and the latest front headed our way. I’ve taken all the things and tried all of my non-drug interventions to no avail; the most relief I get is a few hours between intense attacks. Really hoping this rest day brings it down to a 1 or 2 level. This morning it was a 5/6. (I have a high pain tolerance, my 5 may be another’s 8, but it means I can get around, but feel better in a dark room with little to no movement and don’t feel like driving is a smart option).
Thursday
Staying home certainly helped. Meeting went fine except for a really poorly timed power outage that seems to have messed with something in my laptop and made it sound like someone was drilling in my office. It was pretty bad and but it did resolve after the fact, so I’m hopeful that it won’t happen again (or I can fix it with a reboot).
I vlogged this day as a migraine DITL
Friday
WFH day hurray!
Saturday – Sunday
Not much writing, but there was bubble tea to end the weekend. This week’s migraine hit me hard and I had an extra hard time focusing. Still, some progress is better than none.
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quiet day diaries: week of September 13
Monday
Out of isolation now that my test results were negative. Back to the office and ready to catch up on all the work that I didn’t have the brain space for last week. It was a genuine struggle to be able to focus between the low-level migraine I was nursing and the sense of unease as I waited for my results, all while acting like everything was ok when interacting with people remotely.
My lymph nodes feel a little swollen after my flu shot, but otherwise no reaction beyond the initial arm soreness.
Tuesday
Started the day with a meeting. I cannot understand why anyone chooses to schedule meetings at 9am or 4pm (especially on a Friday). Those are terrible hours. No one wants to meet at those hours. Stop it, you’re a sadist.
Wednesday
Worked from home today because I had back to back meetings from 10 to 4:30 and I like the flexibility of being able to move around without needing to be locked in my office.
Thursday
A day off to deal with mom stuff. The cats were not pleased, but it made for a nice change of pace. Spend the morning reading, then did some tidying and finished up with a few writing sprints. It was a nice reset.
Friday
off to work, off to take another test. The cycle continues.
Saturday – Sunday
Back to writing and a bout of intense dusting. I even wiped down the walls (an easy task I put off for way too long). Next week, I deep clean the bathroom…
Test came back negative, but the boy has been going through something that may or may not be the panini (I heard someone call it this and I love it). Waiting on his test, but he’s doing ok so far. He helped me deal with some of the cat drama on Thursday, but it was a limited exposure so I’m keeping my fingers crossed.
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marginalia and such 