Not going out is definitely having a positive effect on the number of things going out vs. coming in.
What I used up in June and July.
ACURE seriously soothing cleansing cream: hands down, my favorite cream cleanser my evening cleanse. It leaves my skin soft and smooth, and is a constant repurchase.
Rainbow Light Women’s Multivitamin: Rainbow Light is my favorite multivitamin brand. I used to take their Once Daily, iron-free blend but something about the formulation changed and started to make me nauseous. The Women’s Multi is a capsule and easy to swallow. It also includes several of the herbs and supplements I take for PCOS/hormone balance, so I don’t need to take a handful of pills.
Solgar B Complex 50: I’m a flexitarian and take B vitamins when I lean more heavily in a plant-based diet. I’ve since switched to a spray-based b12 (when needed) because I get my Bs in the multi.
Rosehip oil (blue bottle): Just a generic rosehip oil that I use as part of my nighttime skincare routine. Rosehip brightens my skin (it has vitamin C) and offers light moisture.
Adagio teas, Alexander Hamilton tea blend: Not a Hamilton thing, just a random sample I received with an order :). It was an unexpected treat; just the right amount of light coconut flavor in a mild green tea blend.
Candleminis – Currently Reading by Novelly Yours, Old Books and Reading at the Cafe by Frostbeard: I’m systematically working my way through the candles I purchased in the last year. Novelly Yours was part of a self-care book box and smelled like a sweet coffee latte, while Old Books is an old favorite that smells like fresh grass (to me, at least) and Reading smells like a thick chocolate drink (better for winter, but I only had a little sliver left).
Had a weird night with weird aches. Not gonna lie, I get nervous every time. My nightmare scenario is something going wrong and having to go the ER in the middle of this mess.
Went walking after lunch and took a path I haven’t taken in a while… I live near one of the nursing homes with the most covid cases in the state and lowkey panicked because there were two unmarked white trailers across the street. (update: they were gone the next day)
Day 135, Tuesday
Started my second week of running 🙂 Happy about it.
Trying not to panic about the storm that may be heading our way. There’s only so much I can panic about at one time, and I’m not going to freak out about this one (yet). It does, however, mean that I’m making an emergency plan and grateful that my post-cardiologist visit quarantine has resulted in no symptoms.
Rescued an injured bird… glad my mom has a cage just for these situations.
Day 136, Wednesday
It’s been a struggle to stay motivated today, but I reached my writing stretch goal for the month so I’m taking a couple of days off to focus on other tasks before the start of the new month. Also, charging backup batteries in case the power gets knocked out in my neighborhood because, let’s face it, it goes out during a strong rain storm and there’s a light pole in a precarious situation just down the road (and has been for at least a year while they repair other poles in the area).
As I write this, I have taken two naps and had 2 non-breakfast coffees. (I’ve scaled back while WFH-ing, so that’s a lot).
I am itching to do more cleaning and decluttering, but keep reminding myself that there’s not much I can do to pass it on if I do… decisions… In the meantime, I got nostalgic and ordered Fall candles and a retired fragrance from Bath and Body Works that I definitely don’t need. This will be the summer of my Cucumber Melon comeback. We’re going to spray it like it’s 1999.
Day 137, Thursday
Darn heart monitor woke me up at 2:30 am and I didn’t fall asleep until nearly 4:00 am. Sigh. Tired, but completed my morning run… Not sure what Saturday run possibilities will look like, what with the storm threat and all.
Watching my first virtual conference of the season. TBH, I feel like a I’ve “aged” out of these conferences. Everyone is doing the same thing they were doing back in 2009 when I attended my first one… Also, next year marks my 10th year in the profession… it all circles back.
Day 138, Friday
Another trip to the vet with the outdoor kitty, and the “watch and wait” game with Hurricane Isaias. I’m not too fussed, but I’m still debating waiting it out at my mom’s house or staying home. Pro: mom’s place is less likely to lose power, Con: I’d have to finish packing and stuff my cat into a crate that she hate. (There are some other issues too, including the always present threat of asymptomatic covid transmission, but the cat/crate situation is the most pressing and draining).
Day 139 and 140, Saturday and Sunday
Spent the weekend at mom’s, waiting out the storm that veered away (no complaints here). It’s always hard spending a significant amount of time at my moms—we get along and I love her and my gran, but it always reminds me why I left. I can only help so much and we work best when we have our own spaces.
Completed my writing goal for the month, which gives me enough time to start an extra chapter before July ends (if all goes well). My goals are super modest, but they’ve been keeping me on track for the last few months.
Day 128, Tuesday
Started my new running plan using Nike Run Club. Also gave in to an unplanned splurge (damn you clever marketing!) and upgraded my fitbit alta with a fitbit inspire, so I can finally monitor my heart rate.
Day 129, Wednesday
Planned to get started on a review, but best laid plans were unlaid. Oh well. If this strange period has taught me anything it’s to accept the unexpected with as much grace as possible.
Trying not to obsess over the possible hurricane churning in the Atlantic… I’m more prepared than ever because of my pandemic stock and excess of batteries from last year’s hurricane prep. Still… I really DON’T want to deal with another crisis on top of the current one.
Day 130, Thursday
IBS? PCOS? Who knows, but I felt pretty rotten. Hoping it’s a passing symptom and not a sign of something else. I’m one week into my post-Dr’s visit quarantine and feeling fine otherwise. And by fine, I mean low-key tired, but what else is new?
Day 131, Friday
Back to the vet. Mom’s outdoor kitty with the abscess has some sort of resistant infection, so he got a new round of antibiotics and the Dr. sent a sample to the lab. Same thing happened last time 😦
Met with one of my department faculty to figure out some plans for the Fall. Finding the motivation to plan activities for the Fall term has proven difficult. Not sure how successful we will be, but it’s a start and we both need the motivation.
Received my 30 day heart monitor. Maybe I’ll have some answers after this… maybe an inkling?
Day 132, Saturday
Completed my weekly running goal and a return to my old habit. It was hard. I can barely manage a few minutes without feeling like my legs are going to fall off, but it’s a start.
Writing and podcast recording in the afternoon. I completed my writing goal for the month a few days early, so I upped that goal by a chapter.
Day 133, Sunday
I planned to write but gave in to the siren call of a cleaning frenzy. Deep cleaned the bathroom, did the laundry, and sorted through my linen closet/supply cabinet. It’s not perfect, but it’s a darn sight better than it was before I went through it.
Spent the rest of the night reading, which felt pretty glorious.
Balancing work stuff and life stuff in this weirdness that is the WFH life while providing elder care from a distance… Picked up mom’s kitty from the vet. He looks a lot better than the last time he had an abscess (then it took nearly a month to heal, multiple trips to the vet, and several tries to find the right antibiotic to get rid of the infection. We thought he was going to lose his tail, but he didn’t). I’m not yet ready for another cat, but the possibility is possible…
Time to prep the special, multi-category grocery list for this month’s trip to Publix… where I will freak out several times and possibly have a nervous breakdown if the cart gets too full to push (again).
Day 121, Tuesday
Grocery time… and an epic migraine that knocked me out for most of the afternoon into the evening. Was it the weather? Was it tension? Was it hormones? Who the F knows?! At least it was strong but quick to leave fade.
Day 122, Wednesday
Back to the cardiologist for my results… I have a slight valve defect! Which might account for some of the weirdness I’ve been feeling for the last year and a half (and maybe more?). Waiting to be approved for a 30 day monitor to try to capture the events I feel. Like a wonky car, I had no symptoms during any of the previous tests.
Day 123, Thursday
I can’t even remember what happened… meetings?
Day 124, Friday
Back to the vet, which is a whole experience in lockdown. Kitty needed to have his wound flushed again and a new round of antibiotics. It’s been an emotionally draining week.
Day 125, Saturday
Writing for the first time since Monday. Finished the chapter I was working on — a long one that required more focus than I had this week.
Worried because more people are testing positive in my parents’ buildings (yes, plural, 2 separate homes). Started noticing the frequency of sirens over the last few days as well. I live on the same street as the local Fire Rescue/Police station, and the number of emergency calls is definitely on the rise.
Also worried about the boy and his risk at work and home 😦
Day 126, Sunday
Another morning of writing… I’m in a mood and it’s left me drained.
Boy changed the oil in my car, so I’m all set for future grocery and vet runs (although, please, no more EMERGENCY vet runs).
I want to start running again. I stopped when COVID started because I was anxious about getting hurt and needing to go to Urgent Care (not an unlikely occurrence), but I’m going to try short jogs and see how it feels. I’m months out of practice, so it’ll be a fresh start.
Also, not gonna lie… the days are starting to blend into each other and this “diary” is one of the only tools I have to make them feel distinct. Since visiting the Dr.’s office, I’m committing to a 14 day quarantine and hoping for the best. I debated getting tested, but I’m going to wait it out this time. There are so many cases, it feels futile to get tested right now. (It took 10 days to get my results last time.)
Quick trip to the cardiologist’s office to return the monitor I wore on Friday/Saturday. I’m not sure it will reveal much since I didn’t have any heart palpitations of note during that period 😦
Day 114, Tuesday
Had to go to mom’s to supervise her telemed appointment. She’s barely mastered how to use FaceTime, Zoom wasn’t happening. TBH, I didn’t feel great about having to be there to help. After two visits to the Dr’s office in as many weeks, and a couple of quick trips for food, I don’t feel right being around her and my gran, even if I’m masked and keeping my distance.
Day 115, Wednesday
Logged in to email to find a mess of a situation that needed my attention. It drained what was left of my spirit this week. Decided to take the next two days off, since I’m working over the weekend. I feel like every day off I’ve had in the last few months has turned into an ordeal involving family and/or cats. Even my birthday weekend was complicated by other people’s problems. I’m hoping for two quiet days… or as quiet as they can get. I have to watch my gran on Friday while my mom gets blood work for her followup. As before, not feeling great about the risk.
Day 116, Thursday
I took a day off. I needed it. I told myself it would be a good day.
Day 117, Friday
Another day off, this time with obligations. Had to watch my grandmother while my mom went to her dr’s office for a labwork appointment. And I’ll be heading back tomorrow to take one of her strays to the vet. There is so much happening right now, and I’m grateful that I can keep my mom and gran safe, but I’m just so TIRED of having a new crisis every single week. I’m also tired that she keeps “adopting” strays. It’s a real problem. She has a very limited fixed income, and I can’t afford to cover her vet bills on top of mine. My cats came from her colony after they developed health issues… I sometimes wish I had the following to set up a fund set to offset the constant cost. She wants to help every creature (so do I), but she forgets that she’s poor.
We’re also in the middle of a heat wave that’s set to run through the weekend into Monday. I don’t want to spend hours sitting in a hot car (hello, pandemic hot spot) while I wait for the vet, but I also don’t want to neglect a cat that needs help 😦
Day 118, Saturday
To the vet we went. Kitty had to spend the weekend until Monday. It’s an abscess (second time this happens) and not any of the other increasingly more terrible possibilities my mom dreamed up.
Day 119, Sunday
Weekend chat. It was long and dull.
Meanwhile, Miami is now the hottest of hotspots and I’m seeing an increasing number of out-of-state plates in the area (there are hotels not far from where I live and they’re definitely housing tourists). Don’t even get me started on the videos coming out of Disney…
Kitty is still adjusting to being a single cat. Another weird, sleepless night where she kept calling for me.
Despite the tiredness, I was in the mood to dance. Spent an hour playing Just Dance and got a proper sweat session. I’m too anxious to run for fear of hurting myself and ending up in urgent care (wouldn’t be the first time), so my workouts have been limited to walks, yoga (when I can focus), and lately resistance band circuits. Dancing is a nice change.
Spent $75 on summer dresses to enhance the sans pants life. I’m tired of wearing the same three t-shirt dresses I’ve been wearing for three years.
Day 107, Tuesday
A quick morning laundry session as I struggle to find the best way to limit laundry time… it’s tough when you have to borrow your partner’s laundry machine because you don’t have your own and don’t want to risk the laundromat.
Learned that one of my aunt’s had a stroke last night. We’re not particularly close, but it’s still troubling to learn of a third person that I know having an attack in as many weeks.
Day 108, Wednesday
Learned my aunt’s stroke is COVID related and she’s been moved into a special unit for recovery. My uncle and cousins have to get tested. We’re not particularly close, but I hope they recover. Unfortunately, they’re the sort of people that were having house parties with more than the county-recommended 10 guests or less. They all probably got it at a Father’s Day party. Not surprising.
More troubling for me, my sister needs to get tested after one of her coworkers tested positive. She lives with my dad and her mom, both of whom are in vulnerable categories. I’m trying to remain calm and hope she didn’t have contact with that person.
Had to teach my mom how to use Zoom so she can meet with her doctor next week. Some of her chronic issues have been causing some concern. I hope it turns out to be nothing.
Day 109, Thursday
Planning meetings for future reopening of the university. I’m not going to stop working from home any time soon, but I’m part of the review committee to ensure a safe return for students and staff when we start to reopen.
My cat has been acting odd. Vet was closed by the time I called, so I’m going to have to call Friday morning and hope that they’re open. Otherwise, it’s going to be a complicated weekend… I really don’t need more complications.
Day 110, Friday
Took the cat to the vet and he couldn’t find anything obviously wrong with her. Gave her b12 and a steroid in case it’s inflammation or arthritis. Also gave her some fluids in case of dehydration and said to return on Monday if she doesn’t change.
Went to the cardiologist for myself in the afternoon… had an echocardiogram and stress test done (the tech asked “do you ever have chest pain?” while doing the echo, so there’s that… but the stress test was fine.). Sent home with a 24 hour Holter monitor.
Day 111, Saturday
Kitty is not eating much, though the b12 should’ve opened her appetite. I suspect she has a hairball again (there was a big one about two months ago). I have to monitor and see what happens this weekend. I am so tired of being worried about everyone lately.
Day 112, Sunday
Late to bed = late to rise. All the noise was hard to handle and I had a migraine that made it even harder to fall asleep. Finally, rolled out of bed around 9, which meant a late start for everything… A less productive weekend than I wanted, but I managed to have a few pomodoro editing sessions.
If my neighbors actions during the weekend is any indication, we’re in this pandemic for the long haul…
Trying to get back into the swing of things after being out for two days. It doesn’t seem like a long time, but emails have a way of multiplying even under normal work circumstances… meetings kept me from getting much done TBH.
Day 101, Wednesday
Day off for doctor’s visits (for myself and mom).
One of my coworkers had a heart attack recently, and my mom’s neighbor had a stroke… that spurred me to finally see a cardiologist to discuss the heart palpitations, faintness/dizziness, shortness of breath I’ve been experiencing for a little over a year.
For the record – I’ve seen my GP twice (after the first time I nearly passed out and, more recently, when he prescribed anxiety meds), as well as my endocrinologist, and my gyno to check all my hormone levels… none of them found anything, but I’m not fully satisfied with anxiety as a diagnosis. For one, my mom has mitral valve prolapse; I don’t want a misdiagnosis if it’s more than anxiety (there was no pandemic when it started), or a regular part of my body being slightly different.
I have a followup scheduled for an EKG, stress test, and Holter monitor.
Day 102, Thursday
Finally catching up on work… It’s surprising how quickly things pile up, even when I tend to stay on top of tasks and prioritize.
We’ve finally hit the summer heatwaves and it’s been miserable being at home (I don’t have central AC and my wall units can barely cool the room when the sun hits in the afternoon).
Sunset was at 8:15pm FFS. The sun was unrelenting.
Day 103, Friday
It’s HOT. I ordered a second fan to try to cool my home office (ie, my living room) while I keep working from home. Kitty is as languid as I feel. I think she’s shed some of her undercoat because she looks slimmer. I feel ya, kitty.
Finally feeling better after a three day migraine attack. I’m pretty sure it was caused by my lack of restraint over the weekend (there was dairy and other stuff that doesn’t sit well with my body) and the heat.
No heart palpitations today, so that’s a plus.
Meanwhile, the state just announced 9000 covid cases in a single day. Wear your masks, people! I have zero tolerance for selfish disdain for human life.
Day 104, Saturday
I’ve felt decent for the last two more… more than decent actually, and I’m taking full advantage of the ability to focus and write.
Since I haven’t been going out to eat (I can count the number of times I’ve had takeout), I decided to take the plunge and try Daily Harvest. 1) because I’m tired of coming up with lunches and snacks, 2) because I’ve been eyeing their ads forEVER. If you want to try it yourself, I have a referral link.
Day 105, Sunday
Another good writing day. Using a timer and setting pomodoro type sessions has helped me reset my writing routine for the weekend. My weekday writing sessions are usually an hour long, but I’ve had a hard time sitting with the words when there’s so much to do at home. This is an improvement.
Meanwhile, the number of covid cases keeps hitting new highs. I’m still working from home, my risk is minimal, but I’m also an empathetic person. Between the fear and sense of collective grief, it’s been tough. YouTube videos from folks who’ve survived the virus are one of my weird ways to find hope.
It’s a long story, but once again I had to take my mom to an Urgent Care Center. Luckily, this time it was a minor issue (bursitis), but it’s been nearly a month of “do you want to see a doctor?” arguments. This is her third visit to a center in as many months and I’m really hoping to avoid a fourth. My greatest concern is keeping my mom well. She has too many underlying conditions to fare through an infection without complications.
Sat in the car for 2.5 hours and had to drive for another hour each way to drop her off, drop off prescriptions, and drive back to my place. I’m just glad it wasn’t a sprain or tear.
Day 93, Tuesday
Time for my monthly grocery run! I was not as anxious as I was the last two times, so that’s progress. I went in around 8am and was back in the car at 8:33am, which is a record. My gran’s home health aide has been helping with some of the groceries, so I didn’t have to buy nearly $400 worth of stuff this time (1 trip for 2 households = a bad time for all).
Meetings in the afternoon and chat. Trying to catch up on all that I missed yesterday.
Day 94, Wednesday
A blur of a day.
Day 95, Thursday
It’s been a busy week. Meetings and playing catch-up before taking two days off for my birthday. I take a week off each year, but what’s the point this year? A couple of days seems sufficient. It’s not like I’m going to do much other than rest, read, and recharge for writing.
Migraine in the afternoon when the weather turned stormy 😦
Days 96-99, Friday – Monday
Mini birthday staycation, quarantine-style. Had a few days to read and rest and do little more than eat all the things. The boy surprised me with an Animal Crossing-themed cake (because he loves themes) and some very special gifts. My birthday is usually quiet, so it wasn’t that different from the norm. We ordered takeout bbq and enjoyed a forbidden picnic (we didn’t realize the tables were still off-limits at the park).
Covid is back on the rise in Florida. Miami saw a significant spike over the weekend. My worries are on the rise with it, especially with regards to my family and my partner’s work situation.
yes, I’m still working from home and keeping my distance.cases are still on the rise.
Day 85, Monday
Interrupted sleep and another bout of whatever hit me on Saturday = a very lethargic day. Maybe it’s a migraine coming? Maybe it’s PMS? Maybe it’s whatever I had in March giving me second go? Who knows. Living with chronic issues is a guessing game.
My general fatigue manifested in some rather low blood pressure in the evening. 75/63
Day 86, Tuesday
Meetings that went on too long, nothing resolved.
Day 87, Wednesday
I’m experiencing empathy fatigue re: my parents. I can’t help them, but the constant barrage of negative emotions coming from my mom, and my inability to do anything for my dad (he lives with people who are actively out and about and bringing people over without a care) are wearing me out. I speak with both of them multiple times a day, but there are times (like today) when all I want to do is say yes, no, and hang up. TBH I have a lot of unresolved issues that stem from the f*ck ups of these two humans.
Day 88, Thursday
We had more than 1600 new cases of COVID reported in Florida in today’s update and, somehow, we’re opening even more places where people gather in large groups… We’re f*cked.
Right now, everything feels hopeless.
On a lighter note, I visited my dad for a distance date. It’s the first time I’ve seen him since quarantine and it relieved some of my anxiety. I brought him a bag of his favorite bagels (he calls them donuts) and he was very pleased by the surprise.
Day 89, Friday
Cue the latest migraine. I’ve been feeling it coming for the last few days — extra fatigue, clumsiness, inability to concentrate, and generalized achiness (also, wrist pain, which is one of my first warning signs). Two days of interrupted sleep and neighbors slamming stuff didn’t help.
Decided to whip out the smaller of my teapots for a renewed, reading time tea ritual. I’ve also started using a small coffee cup with saucer to slow down my morning coffee moment.
Day 90, Saturday
Laundry in the morning, weekend chat in the afternoon. Amused (and confused) to receive an email from the university telling my I owe $3.50 for tuition… I’m a faculty member and haven’t taken a class since Fall 2008. I’m hoping it’s a glitch, but emailed them to investigate. I had enough issues with records when I WAS a student. (as faculty too if we’re being candid).
Writing and dealing with mom drama. She is the greatest source of stress in my life right now. Yes, including covid, because keeping her safe from infection is compounded by the fact that she has a million health issues and keeps needing to go to Urgent Care Centers with more frequency than ever before… ugh.
Started writing again. It’s slow going, but it’s a start. It’s been difficult to write in my current mental state, especially when trying to write a Romance that has some heavy angst.
Day 79, Tuesday
I don’t even remember what I did on Tuesday…
I wrote for an hour.
Day 80, Wednesday
Collected Cara’s ashes. They didn’t have my number on record, which is why it took so long. I called to ask and they already had him. They provided a ceramic paw print, which broke my heart just a little.
Meetings that I didn’t have on my calendar threw me for a loop.
Wrote for another hour.
Day 81, Thursday
Tired and feeling a little off, but I suspect mid-cycle hormone mess. I’ve noticed this increases my anxiety and makes my heart race.
Meetings and work on writing projects. I have ideas for future research that I’ve been mulling for months; I think the time is nearing for introspection…
Day 82, Friday
What would’ve been the uni’s chair’s retreat was hosted on Zoom. It was very informative. Our local infectious disease expert spoke candidly about the situation and what’s going to happen moving forward. Her conclusion: herd immunity won’t save us and vaccines (if/when we have them) will likely be annual.
I wore makeup for the first time since March…
Day 83, Saturday
Suddenly, incredibly sick with indigestion. Spent most of the morning feeling awful and the afternoon in a languid haze. Managed to get some writing done.
Day 84, Sunday
Donated blood for the first time ever. I’ve always wanted to but haven’t because of reasons (not least of which is my episodes of lightheadedness). It went well. Phlebotomist said, “Wow! You’re a bleeder.” Friends, I am apparently. It only took about 5 minutes to complete the donation. Part of my motivation was to donate, but the more selfish motivation was to 1) learn my blood type 2) participate in the covid antibody study that the blood bank is supporting.