And we’re back! Apparently, my body likes to remind me to rest by going absolutely ballistic and making me crash. I may have caught a mild bout of norovirus or ingested something absolutely heinous… no official diagnosis, but it had me 🤢🤮 for three days and left me with an awful, pounding migraine attack for well over a week. It took me about a week and a half to fully recover (eg. get back to my usual state of low grade exhaustion), during which I mostly became one with my bed (full rotting mode activated), consumed hours of Hulu’s How I Escaped My Cult, read a physical book and listened to an entire audiobook, and engaged in very little activity besides a few walks. It was a lot and left me feeling very behind in work/life/writing/general housekeeping. I hate this feeling, but I also hate I feel this way at all.
I am a frequent proponent of rest, so why is it that it takes an illness for me to take the kind of rest I so desperately need lately? Part of it is the pressure to meet the goals I set for writing and publishing in 2025. I’m not the quickest editor and I have three drafts in various stages of revision. I also have a list of to-dos to prepare for publishing. If I’m going to meet those goals, I have to work and that means consistency. Consistency means pushing through the days when I’m not motivated or energized. Lately, that’s been a real challenge. I even suspect I may be cycling through burnout again. The current state of affairs has been a distraction and source of anxiety, making writing even more difficult, let alone concentration. All this to say, the times are tough and my brain is on fire.
I started editing this week but it’s going at a snail’s pace. I want to do more. I want to write. But I pull up the draft and I can barely get the words to come together. 😞 Even writing about this has been difficult . Thinking through the mess of feelings/doubts, wondering if the effort will be worth it… It’s paralyzing, but there’s no way out but through. I’m going to keep chugging along and doing my best, because giving up isn’t an option for me. Rest, however, needs to be a top priority. It’s been too easy to fall back on old habits and doomscroll before bed. I need to re-establish a solid nighttime routine minus screens. I have a pile of print books. Let’s turn to reading instead scrolling. Reading is and has always been my greatest source of comfort. Back to books! Back to tea! Back to getting in bed before midnight and actually getting a solid night’s sleep! We can do this!
If you’d like to follow me on this journey, stick around and subscribe. 💗 You can also subscribe to my “quiet days” vlog series on YouTube or learn more about my writing at emiliagracewrites.com. I also post about my writing process on Substack. For more, visit my linktr.ee
Note to longtime readers: In case you missed the last year’s update, I changed my name to Emilia Grace on most of my socials to align with my penname.
marginalia and such 