social distance diaries: days 204-210

in which we go to all the doctors…

Day 204, Monday

Was in a meeting where folks were discussing their recent increase in meetings… meanwhile, I have three meeting-free days this month, excluding two days for an online conference. None of those include the two new committees I am now a part of, and none are related to the move to remote. If I was working on-campus, I would still be attending the same number of meetings.

Day 205, Tuesday

I took a look at my schedule and realized I had nothing pressing until after lunch, so I grabbed my ballot and headed to the elections office to drop it off. My vote is in. I hope some good comes of it.

Day 206, Wednesday

Off to the ob-gyn for my yearly wellness exam. She also thinks my arm pain is a knot in my muscle rather than something internal, but I’m still waiting on an approval for the MRI…

Day 207, Thursday

And off to the doctor again for my yearly physical. My OBG and GP are a husband/wife pair and both were open about their views on the current administration’s response to COVID and their personal bout with the virus. Both caught it, along with one their kids. His case was worse (he developed pneumonia and fainted several times), but his wife and daughter developed tremors after recovering. It sounded frightening but weirdly reassuring. Like I too might have a chance… Still, he told me, “keep doing what you’re doing if you haven’t caught it.”

Day 208, Friday

Back to the grind… I blocked out a few hours for a pressing project, but it still wasn’t enough. Spent the night reading so I could away from the screens.

My BF reached the let-my-girlfriend-give-me-an-undercut stage of not being a fool in a pandemic. It was my first time using clippers but it went well!

Day 209, Saturday

Mild migraine rolled in with the storm clouds, but managed to head it off with a low dose of advil. I started laying off the advil after I noticed it was making me retain water in a concerning way, but it’s one of the only pain killers that works for me with some success. Managed to get a few hours of writing in before it wore off, but no rebound headache yet fingers crossed

I used to have regular dessert dates on the weekends, just quick trips to a local bakery for treats and coffee, but those stopped at the start of the pandemic. Today, I took a chance and stopped at one of my old haunts for a small cake for myself and cheesecake for the boy. There were two people eating inside but they left shortly after I arrived, and it took less than 15 minutes, so the risk felt less dire than my recent trips to the doctor.

It was delicious.

Day 210, Sunday

Alternated between writing, cleaning, and paying bills/checking my budget. Decent amount of energy too. Days like today me feel almost normal, which is kind of sad if I think about it too closely.

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social distance diaries: days 197-203

in which we reach the 200s

Day 197, Monday

Checked in with my folks and finally started to feel motivated enough to return to a work-related research project I’ve put off for an embarrassingly long time.

Day 198, Tuesday

And the hormonal migraine came back with a vengeance…

Day 199, Wednesday

What happened on Wednesday? I can’t even remember…

Day 200, Thursday

Wow. 200 days of Working from Home and trying not to lose my head every time I need to go somewhere.

Had an ultrasound this morning to look into a weird pain I’ve been having… preliminary review by the tech showed no lumps, so fingers crossed for the radiologist’s report. I didn’t want to take the risk and “wait and see”.

That said, waking up an hour earlier only made my migraine worse and I needed to lie down when I got home. I would call it rest, but there’s no rest, just an all-consuming need to lay down, slap a heating pad behind my head, a cold pack on my forehead, and a black-out mask over my eyes and lay as still as possible. I felt some relief, but I’m working in the dark now.

Day 201, Friday

Dr. called with my results. Ultrasound was all clear, but they can refer me to a specialist if the pain continues. I’m starting to think the pain is muscular, as it started when I was going to the vet on a nearly weekly basis… heavy cats, already injured, not a good combination. I’m going to try to get to the local orthopedic center to see if it’s muscular. No sense in seeing a breast specialist if it’s a muscular issue. I’d rather rule it out first, if it’s not. (really hoping it’s a simple strain, that would be the best case scenario).

Meetings in the morning, followed by a dentist appointment that I could put off no longer. I have TMJ and my teeth have been experiencing sensitivity. I’ve needed a cleaning since March and have been dreading it. This feels like the safest time to go (cases are down, but not staying down).

More news! The ortho believes I may have torn/sprained my Teres Minor, one of the four muscles that assist in shoulder mobility. He found the spot right away and the description that I found matches what I’m feeling. To err on the side of caution, he ordered an MRI, so I’ll be scheduling that as soon as I hear back from the imaging center. fingers crossed the pain will be the result of carrying too many fat cats with bad form and no worse.

While I was at the Dr’s, I received an appointment to another very important university committee… my second one this week. I like serving, but it’s getting to the point where I’m averaging 7-9 hours of meetings a week and it’s starting to affect my ability to do my regular duties. I requested a meeting with my dean to lay out some realistic expectations going forward, because I can’t see myself doing it all without crashing and burning.

I should also point out that these meetings are not the result of Zoom. TBH, Zoom is an improvement over the uncomfortable seating and lighting arrangements that generally trigger the tightness in my shoulders that starts my headaches.

Day 202, Saturday

Back to writing. I took about a week and half to prep and plan for round three of edits, now that the major developmental/revision round is complete. I started the morning with a migraine, so it wasn’t as productive as I would have liked, but I’m also willing to give myself grace. I worked for two and half hours and managed to stick to my plan, which is a a win.

Completed my vote-by-mail ballot, now I have to find some time to take it to the elections office between the 7.5 hours of meetings I have scheduled this week (so far).

Had a Netflix and tea night and was completely charmed by the Enola Holmes movie. I want more! And I want to read all the books!

Day 203, Sunday

Trying to shift my writing a bit earlier in the morning, so I started at 8 and pomodoro-ed my way through a 3 hour block with 10 minute breaks. I calculated how much time it will take to finish this round if I maintain this pace and it’s not bad. Obviously, that’s an idealized situation. Realistically, there will be at least one week a month when I’m knocked out by a migraine and there will be days when I’m too tired to write after a day of staring at Zoom, but allowing for a few days off, it’s still promising.

Took a quick trip to see mom and gran. We’re seeing a slight rise in cases, but still less than we’ve seen in months. I’m worried about the holiday season and trying to take the time I can to see them before we have to quarantine again. The drop in cases is the only reason I felt “safe” enough to get he care I needed this week without immediately locking myself down.

I made espresso for the first time in a couple of months… that may have been a tactical error.

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social distance diaries: days 176-182

in which time loses all meaning

Day 176, Monday

Another Monday, another day inside despite it being Labor Day… not that I ever really do much on Labor Day. I’m not a beach person, even under normal circumstances.

Day 177, Tuesday

I’ve been turned around all day, thinking it was Monday. My leg woke me up at 2am and kept me up until 4-something, so there’s that. I applied heat today to see if that soothes the muscle. I think my ankle has started to tense, leading to cramping (at least, I hope it’s just cramping).

Day 178, Wednesday

Cookie Cat went back to the vet for what is (hopefully) the last time. His stitches came out and we asked for him to be tested for anything contagious because, yes, I’m bringing him home. Part of me isn’t ready for a second cat—I’m still missing my sugar bear and little girl is still not 100% since her bout of bronchitis (and other -itises)—but I want to give him a chance at a nice, comfortable, indoor life. Basically, my place is a rehab home for my mom’s sick ferals.

Day 179, Thursday

Trying KT tape on the ankle because the boot is making my leg ache. Also adding some stretches and mobility exercises to loosen up my joint. The scabby knee is itchy AF.

Days 180 – 182, Friday – Sunday

TBH, these days were a blur. Friday was filled with meetings and the weekend was filled with writing, podcast recording on Sunday, and worrying on Sunday night. It was a productive time until kitty started sneezing and breathing faster than normal. Her asthma/allergy is acting up again and I have no idea what is causing it, but a vet trip is in order.

The number of confirmed covid cases is going down in the state and locally, but we’re still higher than we were when we shut down back in March. I’m worried about the holidays and kids going back to the classroom 😦

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social distance diaries: days 155-161

in which we miss a storm and do too much

Day 155, Monday

A Monday like any other. I wasn’t ready to get back to work after my short break and it took some time to find a groove. A lot happened while I was gone (just two days and shit hit the fan), so it was a matter of sorting through the backlog in order to catch up.

Day 156, Tuesday

An unexpected return to the vet for a follow-up no one mentioned… A weird encounter while waiting to pick up the kitty that involved a woman who refused to pay her vet bill after leaving him in the office for 10 days and then proceeded to open the carrier in the parking lot… on the edge of a main road. Cat got out, chase ensued. Luckily, her cat went into the bushes and wasn’t as skittish about being handled as mine because my heart was in my throat the whole time.

Lots of meetings in between drop-off and pick-up and a bit of emotional turmoil throughout. It was a difficult day, but I’m glad we’re almost done with vet visits for this one (minor surgery next week).

Day 157, Wednesday

Trying to recover from yesterday’s upheaval. I settled in and managed to catch up on projects, meetings, and cleaning my inbox (which was completely unmanageable). My mind hasn’t been clear enough to focus on creative writing, but I’m on target to meet my goal for the month if I can push through the weekend fingers crossed.

Paid bills after dinner, which is an event of late. Since I’ve started managing my mom’s orders and payments, it’s been hard to keep track of my budget using my account. I’ve resorted to a manual list of purchases to sort between her stuff and mine. The total always gives me a shock, but I have to remind myself that I’m managing bills for two homes and ordering stuff I would normally buy in person with cash, so it’s not breaking my budget, but highlighting our spending habits (and all the vet bills I’ve been charging to my card).

Day 158, Thursday

So much happening as we prepare for the term to start on Monday AND we have a will-it-come-our-way tropical storm/maybe hurricane situation on the rise. Long, tired sigh. If it does, I’ll have to pack up and head back to my mom’s with a cat that hates being picked up and REALLY hates her crate. Ordered delivery for lunch because I couldn’t handle the thought of dishes.

Day 159, Friday

After an Instacart fiasco wherein the groceries I ordered for my mom ended up at someone else’s house (felt really bad for the shopper, but there was no way to communicate the error for a number of reasons)… I packed myself off to the grocery store at 7am to avoid other shoppers and get out before things got busy.

A long day. Didn’t get enough sleep. Caught up on work stuff to make up for my slow start.

Day 160, Saturday

No hurricane watch (for now)! One of the local meteorologists recently called it “selfish, but good news” when he reported that the forecast track had shifted far enough to keep South Florida out of the storm’s path. It does feel selfish, but I’m glad I didn’t have to deal with the mess of another trip to my mom’s with my cat… plus the fear and anxiety that comes with every threat.

Day 161, Sunday

Another sleepless night. Got up to feed the cat and went back to bed. I hate sleeping in, because it feels like I miss most of the day, but I was desperate for sleep. Didn’t do much good though. Got up to a cat litter box incident (hoping it was bad aim and not another urinary issue–she literally just finished a round of antibiotics), impromptu cleaning session ensued. Sigh.

Didn’t meet my writing goal for the week, but I’m still likely to hit my goal for the month.

Podcast (recording) time in the afternoon. Reading time until bed.

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social distance diaries: days 141-147

in which we reach the cleaning frenzy stage of quarantine…

Day 141, Monday

So glad to be back home, but still tired despite getting a full night’s rest. Two days of sleeping on my mom’s couch with three of her colony cats to keep me company means I’m still catching up on lost sleep and dealing with a crick in my neck.

A slow start to my week and another return to the vet, though this time for a planned visit rather than another emergency.

Day 142, Tuesday

Slightly more rested today, so I managed to catch up on some of the project’s I abandoned during last week’s storm prep. Work writing, but no novel writing because the energy isn’t quite there.

Ordered some pizza for dinner with what I hope was vegan cheese (I really couldn’t tell and part of me suspects it wasn’t). My tummy will tell… Cheese aside, had a really weird moment where some random lady “literally” got up in my face before I could dodge out of her way—mask hanging from her ear and all. My anxiety could’ve done without a stranger invading my social distance bubble. In brief, it was a small pizza place, I was standing to the side, blocking the soda fridge so I wouldn’t block the register. Woman walked in, didn’t pause or give me a chance to shift before walking straight at me (it was three steps from the door to the fridge at most). I twisted away, but it was still too close for comfort on a day when the state reported more than 7000 covid cases. Not pleased.

Pizza was good though.

Day 143, Wednesday

Much more productive today. Managed to get started on several projects between meetings and chat. I’m not mentally prepared for the start of Fall, if I’m being completely honest. I’m so grateful that I’ll be able to continue working remotely (and that’s a privilege I don’t take lightly).

Randomly, decided to sweep on some eye shadow. It was unexpectedly invigorating after nearly 5 months of 0/minimal makeup.

Day 144, Thursday

Just tired today. Kitty’s random cough/sneeze turned into a series of cough/sneeze attacks that concern me, so off to the vet tomorrow.

Day 145, Friday

Kitty has to stay at the vet because they had too many appointments and she needs to be sedated to be treated (she vicious). My mind has been drifting all day and not having her around has me anxious.

On an ever-in-the-back-of-my-mind sidenote… I live in a tiny, privately owned apartment building that is attached to two commercial spaces (all under the same property owner). There’s been a lot of discussion about rent and evictions and everything that is happening in the world… I’m not in that situation, but I am constantly worried about the possibility that a) my landlords won’t be able to pay their property taxes (because 1 office and 1 apartment are currently empty, and they haven’t been able to keep their business going) or b) they die (because hello, hotspot). It’s a very real fear that rears it’s head at the worst moments and my “worst case scenario” personality has been spinning circles. I don’t feel sorry for my landlords — they definitely have more options than I do, but the possibility that they default on their taxes makes me nervous and definitely makes me feel sorry for me.

Sigh. Just praying for some good neighbors.

kitty had to spend the night at the vet’s because they were so swamped with cases(!). She’s so small, they just needed one xray (tiny nugget!)

Day 146, Saturday

Kitty came back home. She hasn’t sneezed or coughed since her treatment started, but we’re waiting on a radiologist’s report to see if anything is going on in her lungs. I’m hoping it’s a run-of-the-mill infection and not asthma or anything chronic.

Spent most of the day in a funk. Low energy and not much desire to get things done. I hate feeling this way, but it happens.

Day 147. Sunday

Started writing again, but it’s a VERY slow start. I don’t have the energy to focus and the mood I’m in isn’t helping. I don’t think August will be as productive as July. It’s also increasingly hot, which makes me feel lethargic.

To feel some sense of accomplishment, I organized the storage in my closet. Having one closet means that EVERYTHING gets stored in there and, while I don’t have that much stuff, it piles up when there’s only one shelf.

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social distance diaries: days 134 – 140

better late than never…

Day 134, Monday

Had a weird night with weird aches. Not gonna lie, I get nervous every time. My nightmare scenario is something going wrong and having to go the ER in the middle of this mess.

Went walking after lunch and took a path I haven’t taken in a while… I live near one of the nursing homes with the most covid cases in the state and lowkey panicked because there were two unmarked white trailers across the street. (update: they were gone the next day)

Day 135, Tuesday

Started my second week of running 🙂 Happy about it.

Trying not to panic about the storm that may be heading our way. There’s only so much I can panic about at one time, and I’m not going to freak out about this one (yet). It does, however, mean that I’m making an emergency plan and grateful that my post-cardiologist visit quarantine has resulted in no symptoms.

Rescued an injured bird… glad my mom has a cage just for these situations.

Day 136, Wednesday

It’s been a struggle to stay motivated today, but I reached my writing stretch goal for the month so I’m taking a couple of days off to focus on other tasks before the start of the new month. Also, charging backup batteries in case the power gets knocked out in my neighborhood because, let’s face it, it goes out during a strong rain storm and there’s a light pole in a precarious situation just down the road (and has been for at least a year while they repair other poles in the area).

As I write this, I have taken two naps and had 2 non-breakfast coffees. (I’ve scaled back while WFH-ing, so that’s a lot).

I am itching to do more cleaning and decluttering, but keep reminding myself that there’s not much I can do to pass it on if I do… decisions… In the meantime, I got nostalgic and ordered Fall candles and a retired fragrance from Bath and Body Works that I definitely don’t need. This will be the summer of my Cucumber Melon comeback. We’re going to spray it like it’s 1999.

Day 137, Thursday

Darn heart monitor woke me up at 2:30 am and I didn’t fall asleep until nearly 4:00 am. Sigh. Tired, but completed my morning run… Not sure what Saturday run possibilities will look like, what with the storm threat and all.

Watching my first virtual conference of the season. TBH, I feel like a I’ve “aged” out of these conferences. Everyone is doing the same thing they were doing back in 2009 when I attended my first one… Also, next year marks my 10th year in the profession… it all circles back.

Day 138, Friday

Another trip to the vet with the outdoor kitty, and the “watch and wait” game with Hurricane Isaias. I’m not too fussed, but I’m still debating waiting it out at my mom’s house or staying home. Pro: mom’s place is less likely to lose power, Con: I’d have to finish packing and stuff my cat into a crate that she hate. (There are some other issues too, including the always present threat of asymptomatic covid transmission, but the cat/crate situation is the most pressing and draining).

Day 139 and 140, Saturday and Sunday

Spent the weekend at mom’s, waiting out the storm that veered away (no complaints here). It’s always hard spending a significant amount of time at my moms—we get along and I love her and my gran, but it always reminds me why I left. I can only help so much and we work best when we have our own spaces.

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social distance diaries: days 127-133

surviving the summer of our discontent…

Day 127, Monday

Completed my writing goal for the month, which gives me enough time to start an extra chapter before July ends (if all goes well). My goals are super modest, but they’ve been keeping me on track for the last few months.

Day 128, Tuesday

Started my new running plan using Nike Run Club. Also gave in to an unplanned splurge (damn you clever marketing!) and upgraded my fitbit alta with a fitbit inspire, so I can finally monitor my heart rate.

Day 129, Wednesday

Planned to get started on a review, but best laid plans were unlaid. Oh well. If this strange period has taught me anything it’s to accept the unexpected with as much grace as possible.

Trying not to obsess over the possible hurricane churning in the Atlantic… I’m more prepared than ever because of my pandemic stock and excess of batteries from last year’s hurricane prep. Still… I really DON’T want to deal with another crisis on top of the current one.

Day 130, Thursday

IBS? PCOS? Who knows, but I felt pretty rotten. Hoping it’s a passing symptom and not a sign of something else. I’m one week into my post-Dr’s visit quarantine and feeling fine otherwise. And by fine, I mean low-key tired, but what else is new?

Day 131, Friday

Back to the vet. Mom’s outdoor kitty with the abscess has some sort of resistant infection, so he got a new round of antibiotics and the Dr. sent a sample to the lab. Same thing happened last time 😦

Met with one of my department faculty to figure out some plans for the Fall. Finding the motivation to plan activities for the Fall term has proven difficult. Not sure how successful we will be, but it’s a start and we both need the motivation.

Received my 30 day heart monitor. Maybe I’ll have some answers after this… maybe an inkling?

Day 132, Saturday

Completed my weekly running goal and a return to my old habit. It was hard. I can barely manage a few minutes without feeling like my legs are going to fall off, but it’s a start.

Writing and podcast recording in the afternoon. I completed my writing goal for the month a few days early, so I upped that goal by a chapter.

Day 133, Sunday

I planned to write but gave in to the siren call of a cleaning frenzy. Deep cleaned the bathroom, did the laundry, and sorted through my linen closet/supply cabinet. It’s not perfect, but it’s a darn sight better than it was before I went through it.

Spent the rest of the night reading, which felt pretty glorious.

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social distance diaries: days 120 – 126

wherein depression hits hard…

Day 120, Monday

Balancing work stuff and life stuff in this weirdness that is the WFH life while providing elder care from a distance… Picked up mom’s kitty from the vet. He looks a lot better than the last time he had an abscess (then it took nearly a month to heal, multiple trips to the vet, and several tries to find the right antibiotic to get rid of the infection. We thought he was going to lose his tail, but he didn’t). I’m not yet ready for another cat, but the possibility is possible…

Time to prep the special, multi-category grocery list for this month’s trip to Publix… where I will freak out several times and possibly have a nervous breakdown if the cart gets too full to push (again).

Day 121, Tuesday

Grocery time… and an epic migraine that knocked me out for most of the afternoon into the evening. Was it the weather? Was it tension? Was it hormones? Who the F knows?! At least it was strong but quick to leave fade.

Day 122, Wednesday

Back to the cardiologist for my results… I have a slight valve defect! Which might account for some of the weirdness I’ve been feeling for the last year and a half (and maybe more?). Waiting to be approved for a 30 day monitor to try to capture the events I feel. Like a wonky car, I had no symptoms during any of the previous tests.

Day 123, Thursday

I can’t even remember what happened… meetings?

Day 124, Friday

Back to the vet, which is a whole experience in lockdown. Kitty needed to have his wound flushed again and a new round of antibiotics. It’s been an emotionally draining week.

Day 125, Saturday

Writing for the first time since Monday. Finished the chapter I was working on — a long one that required more focus than I had this week.

Worried because more people are testing positive in my parents’ buildings (yes, plural, 2 separate homes). Started noticing the frequency of sirens over the last few days as well. I live on the same street as the local Fire Rescue/Police station, and the number of emergency calls is definitely on the rise.

Also worried about the boy and his risk at work and home 😦

Day 126, Sunday

Another morning of writing… I’m in a mood and it’s left me drained.

Boy changed the oil in my car, so I’m all set for future grocery and vet runs (although, please, no more EMERGENCY vet runs).

I want to start running again. I stopped when COVID started because I was anxious about getting hurt and needing to go to Urgent Care (not an unlikely occurrence), but I’m going to try short jogs and see how it feels. I’m months out of practice, so it’ll be a fresh start.

Also, not gonna lie… the days are starting to blend into each other and this “diary” is one of the only tools I have to make them feel distinct. Since visiting the Dr.’s office, I’m committing to a 14 day quarantine and hoping for the best. I debated getting tested, but I’m going to wait it out this time. There are so many cases, it feels futile to get tested right now. (It took 10 days to get my results last time.)

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social distance diaries: days 106-112

you know the drill… wear your mask.

Day 106, Monday

Kitty is still adjusting to being a single cat. Another weird, sleepless night where she kept calling for me.

Despite the tiredness, I was in the mood to dance. Spent an hour playing Just Dance and got a proper sweat session. I’m too anxious to run for fear of hurting myself and ending up in urgent care (wouldn’t be the first time), so my workouts have been limited to walks, yoga (when I can focus), and lately resistance band circuits. Dancing is a nice change.

Spent $75 on summer dresses to enhance the sans pants life. I’m tired of wearing the same three t-shirt dresses I’ve been wearing for three years.

Day 107, Tuesday

A quick morning laundry session as I struggle to find the best way to limit laundry time… it’s tough when you have to borrow your partner’s laundry machine because you don’t have your own and don’t want to risk the laundromat.

Learned that one of my aunt’s had a stroke last night. We’re not particularly close, but it’s still troubling to learn of a third person that I know having an attack in as many weeks.

Day 108, Wednesday

Learned my aunt’s stroke is COVID related and she’s been moved into a special unit for recovery. My uncle and cousins have to get tested. We’re not particularly close, but I hope they recover. Unfortunately, they’re the sort of people that were having house parties with more than the county-recommended 10 guests or less. They all probably got it at a Father’s Day party. Not surprising.

More troubling for me, my sister needs to get tested after one of her coworkers tested positive. She lives with my dad and her mom, both of whom are in vulnerable categories. I’m trying to remain calm and hope she didn’t have contact with that person.

Had to teach my mom how to use Zoom so she can meet with her doctor next week. Some of her chronic issues have been causing some concern. I hope it turns out to be nothing.

Day 109, Thursday

Planning meetings for future reopening of the university. I’m not going to stop working from home any time soon, but I’m part of the review committee to ensure a safe return for students and staff when we start to reopen.

My cat has been acting odd. Vet was closed by the time I called, so I’m going to have to call Friday morning and hope that they’re open. Otherwise, it’s going to be a complicated weekend… I really don’t need more complications.

Day 110, Friday

Took the cat to the vet and he couldn’t find anything obviously wrong with her. Gave her b12 and a steroid in case it’s inflammation or arthritis. Also gave her some fluids in case of dehydration and said to return on Monday if she doesn’t change.

Went to the cardiologist for myself in the afternoon… had an echocardiogram and stress test done (the tech asked “do you ever have chest pain?” while doing the echo, so there’s that… but the stress test was fine.). Sent home with a 24 hour Holter monitor.

Day 111, Saturday

Kitty is not eating much, though the b12 should’ve opened her appetite. I suspect she has a hairball again (there was a big one about two months ago). I have to monitor and see what happens this weekend. I am so tired of being worried about everyone lately.

Day 112, Sunday

Late to bed = late to rise. All the noise was hard to handle and I had a migraine that made it even harder to fall asleep. Finally, rolled out of bed around 9, which meant a late start for everything… A less productive weekend than I wanted, but I managed to have a few pomodoro editing sessions.

If my neighbors actions during the weekend is any indication, we’re in this pandemic for the long haul…

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social distance diaries: days 100-105

keep wearing those masks. make it fashion.

Day 100, Tuesday

Trying to get back into the swing of things after being out for two days. It doesn’t seem like a long time, but emails have a way of multiplying even under normal work circumstances… meetings kept me from getting much done TBH.

Day 101, Wednesday

Day off for doctor’s visits (for myself and mom).

One of my coworkers had a heart attack recently, and my mom’s neighbor had a stroke… that spurred me to finally see a cardiologist to discuss the heart palpitations, faintness/dizziness, shortness of breath I’ve been experiencing for a little over a year.

For the record – I’ve seen my GP twice (after the first time I nearly passed out and, more recently, when he prescribed anxiety meds), as well as my endocrinologist, and my gyno to check all my hormone levels… none of them found anything, but I’m not fully satisfied with anxiety as a diagnosis. For one, my mom has mitral valve prolapse; I don’t want a misdiagnosis if it’s more than anxiety (there was no pandemic when it started), or a regular part of my body being slightly different.

I have a followup scheduled for an EKG, stress test, and Holter monitor.

Day 102, Thursday

Finally catching up on work… It’s surprising how quickly things pile up, even when I tend to stay on top of tasks and prioritize.

We’ve finally hit the summer heatwaves and it’s been miserable being at home (I don’t have central AC and my wall units can barely cool the room when the sun hits in the afternoon).

Sunset was at 8:15pm FFS. The sun was unrelenting.

Day 103, Friday

It’s HOT. I ordered a second fan to try to cool my home office (ie, my living room) while I keep working from home. Kitty is as languid as I feel. I think she’s shed some of her undercoat because she looks slimmer. I feel ya, kitty.

Finally feeling better after a three day migraine attack. I’m pretty sure it was caused by my lack of restraint over the weekend (there was dairy and other stuff that doesn’t sit well with my body) and the heat.

No heart palpitations today, so that’s a plus.

Meanwhile, the state just announced 9000 covid cases in a single day. Wear your masks, people! I have zero tolerance for selfish disdain for human life.

Day 104, Saturday

I’ve felt decent for the last two more… more than decent actually, and I’m taking full advantage of the ability to focus and write.

Since I haven’t been going out to eat (I can count the number of times I’ve had takeout), I decided to take the plunge and try Daily Harvest. 1) because I’m tired of coming up with lunches and snacks, 2) because I’ve been eyeing their ads forEVER. If you want to try it yourself, I have a referral link.

Day 105, Sunday

Another good writing day. Using a timer and setting pomodoro type sessions has helped me reset my writing routine for the weekend. My weekday writing sessions are usually an hour long, but I’ve had a hard time sitting with the words when there’s so much to do at home. This is an improvement.

Listened to an excellent episode of Smart Podcast, Trashy Books. Highly recommend. It was just what I needed to remind me that it’s ok to just take care of myself and stop. Episode 411. Caring for Tired Brains with Alexis Rockley

Meanwhile, the number of covid cases keeps hitting new highs. I’m still working from home, my risk is minimal, but I’m also an empathetic person. Between the fear and sense of collective grief, it’s been tough. YouTube videos from folks who’ve survived the virus are one of my weird ways to find hope.

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