Tag: Life

05.25.2 lessons learned in the editing trenches – realizing I may be in for more than I thought

writing updates and lessons learned while editing (cross-posted from my Substack)

or, biting off more than I can chew.

the words "the right to write" typewritten on a sheet of paper, in a vintage typewriter
Photo by Suzy Hazelwood on Pexels.com

This update is cross-posted from my Substack. If you would like to receive regular writing updates and future book news, consider subscribing to my newsletter.

✍🏻Writing Updates

I made the brilliant (re: mad) decision to edit two manuscripts simultaneously, and it was sort of working. Is working. Sort of. I mean, I’m getting the edits done at a relatively decent pace (for me), but I’m starting to come to terms that what I thought would be a final proofread for Before You Called Me Baby (Book 1) is turning into a solid final (final) content edit. A mild developmental edit, if you will. Definitely not the simple line edit I thought it would be.

And that’s ok. Whatever makes the book better. I’m here for the long haul, after all. But it does mean coming to terms with the fact that I may not hit my fall release goal. Maybe late fall, if my body cooperates (with chronic migraine and summer storms triggering the pressure, that’s a BIG if). NGL, it’s gotten me a bit down. I amped myself up for a Fall 2025 release since I wrote it in my vision board/planner back in 2021.

If you’ve followed my journey on YT or the blog, you’ll know I queried for two years while pursuing trad pub before deciding that my work stood a better chance in indie. It was a decision I wrestled with (the thought of being a small business is daunting as heck), but I’ve been all in since I made it. Now, here I am, regretting the years I lost querying and, more recently, the time I spent thinking I was done with edits and ready for proofreading.

Still, I’m glad I can make these changes before putting it out into the world, though it will mean some tweaks to my publication plan. I’m also learning that my initial goal to have all three books edited and ready for a (semi)rapid release launch is not going to work. I’m not a fast writer and editing takes me twice, if not three times as long to complete. I’m never going to be the writer putting out 5 or 6 books (or more) in a year. It’s just not in me, unless I quit my day job (and that’s highly unlikely to ever to happen. Hello, I need health insurance). So, I’m coming to terms with having to make some realistic changes to my plan, and focusing on producing the best book I create, given my current reality.

Who knows, maybe I’ll get a burst of energy and push through to the finish line to meet my goal. I’m keeping the hope alive, if nothing else. 🤞🏻

📈Anyhow, here is May by the numbers

Current Drafts in Progress: 2

  • Before You Called Me Baby (Tangled Hearts Book 1)
  • My Favorite Mistake (Tangled Hearts Book 2)

⏲️Time spent working:

BYCMB 💜

  • Reading: 5 hours, 27 minutes
    • Read: 66 pages
    • Revising: 10 hours, 33 minutes
      • Revised: 59.5 pages

MFM ❤️

  • Revising: 7 hours, 26 minutes
    • Revised: 41 pages

Total time spent working on both drafts: 22.86 🎇

These numbers help me recognize the slow, but steady progress I’m making. This month I lost 13 days lost to migraine and/or travel. It also took me a few tries to find the most effective editing schedule to juggle these two projects with life and work, but after a couple of weeks, I found a plan that’s working, even though I missed some days.

As I write this, I’m down with a cold, but still making progress. Fingers crossed that it stays mild and goes away soon.

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the View from Sunday: 7.25

reflecting on loss and regrets

I lost a dear friend this week and his loss got me thinking about all the things I want to do in this little life and the things I wish I had done when I was younger.

One thing I regret is that I didn’t travel more when I was in my 20s, but the reality is that I was in grad school for nearly 5 of those years, getting started on saving for an emergency fund, and paying down my student loans. I focused on my finances and starting my career, and those are choices that I definitely don’t regret, as they contributed to the modicum of financial freedom that I have now in my 40s. But I do wish I had taken more trips, especially as my migraine condition has taken a larger toll on my life. My last flight was at the end of 2019, right before the pandemic started. I didn’t travel at all, even within the state, for at least two years after that, especially as my grandmother’s Alzheimer’s worsened and my mom’s need for backup increased (the number of times I had to make an emergency drive for one or the other… I can’t even begin to count ’em).

I have a conference coming up (🤞🏻for a pain free week), but I really want to take some time to explore places around the state, even if money is tight and life is lifeing (i.e. my elderly parents are having a crisis). Out of state travel likely isn’t in the cards right now, but I hope it will be one day. Like I said, I already have some regrets, I don’t want to have even more as I grow older.

My other big dream is getting my books out. I sometimes regret the time I spent querying trad agents. It was a learning experience; I gained insight on the industry, but I should’ve been brave and committed to indie from the start. What I feared most was my ability to build a business and market myself, but it’s not like trad doesn’t require the same level of industry on the part of the average author.

We don’t all get the luxury of aging and I don’t want to waste more time than I already have… I lose enough of my days to pain. I don’t want to lose more to other people’s opinions.

Hug your loved ones, pet your furry friends, and make the big choices while you can. 🌼

💜

For more, subscribe to the blog.

You can follow my “quiet days” on YouTube or follow for writing updates on Substack.

Visit my linktr.ee or learn more about my writing at emiliagracewrites.com.

Note to longtime readers: In case you missed the last year’s update, I changed my name to Emilia Grace on most of my socials to align with my penname.

video: March Update ☕ Life Lately: thinking out loud and updates on life, writing, and all the things

a sit-down chat

March has been interesting… I’ve been ill, which means everything has been slow and I feel dreadfully behind. Join me for a sit down ramble as I think out loud about life, writing, and the current state of my projects and editing goals. Plus, thoughts on the future of my self-publishing plan, the indie market, and reading as both joy and resistance in light of the current climate.

💜

For more, subscribe to the blog.

You can follow my “quiet days” on YouTube or follow for writing updates on Substack.

Visit my linktr.ee or learn more about my writing at emiliagracewrites.com.

Note to longtime readers: In case you missed the last year’s update, I changed my name to Emilia Grace on most of my socials to align with my penname.

the view from Sunday, 6.25

Recovering from Illness: Finding Balance and Rest

And we’re back! Apparently, my body likes to remind me to rest by going absolutely ballistic and making me crash. I may have caught a mild bout of norovirus or ingested something absolutely heinous… no official diagnosis, but it had me 🤢🤮 for three days and left me with an awful, pounding migraine attack for well over a week. It took me about a week and a half to fully recover (eg. get back to my usual state of low grade exhaustion), during which I mostly became one with my bed (full rotting mode activated), consumed hours of Hulu’s How I Escaped My Cult, read a physical book and listened to an entire audiobook, and engaged in very little activity besides a few walks. It was a lot and left me feeling very behind in work/life/writing/general housekeeping. I hate this feeling, but I also hate I feel this way at all.

musings and ramblings from my sick bed

I am a frequent proponent of rest, so why is it that it takes an illness for me to take the kind of rest I so desperately need lately? Part of it is the pressure to meet the goals I set for writing and publishing in 2025. I’m not the quickest editor and I have three drafts in various stages of revision. I also have a list of to-dos to prepare for publishing. If I’m going to meet those goals, I have to work and that means consistency. Consistency means pushing through the days when I’m not motivated or energized. Lately, that’s been a real challenge. I even suspect I may be cycling through burnout again. The current state of affairs has been a distraction and source of anxiety, making writing even more difficult, let alone concentration. All this to say, the times are tough and my brain is on fire.

I started editing this week but it’s going at a snail’s pace. I want to do more. I want to write. But I pull up the draft and I can barely get the words to come together. 😞 Even writing about this has been difficult . Thinking through the mess of feelings/doubts, wondering if the effort will be worth it… It’s paralyzing, but there’s no way out but through. I’m going to keep chugging along and doing my best, because giving up isn’t an option for me. Rest, however, needs to be a top priority. It’s been too easy to fall back on old habits and doomscroll before bed. I need to re-establish a solid nighttime routine minus screens. I have a pile of print books. Let’s turn to reading instead scrolling. Reading is and has always been my greatest source of comfort. Back to books! Back to tea! Back to getting in bed before midnight and actually getting a solid night’s sleep! We can do this!

If you’d like to follow me on this journey, stick around and subscribe. 💗 You can also subscribe to my “quiet days” vlog series on YouTube or learn more about my writing at emiliagracewrites.com. I also post about my writing process on Substack. For more, visit my linktr.ee

Note to longtime readers: In case you missed the last year’s update, I changed my name to Emilia Grace on most of my socials to align with my penname.

the view from Monday, 5.25

I’ve been physically and mentally exhausted over the last few days. Life is life-ing and my body is going through it. I had too many tasks and chores to take care of this weekend, so the Sunday post fell by the wayside, but I wanted to share this tiny bit of hope that found me today.

I have two orchids in my shower, they’ve been with me for years, and they usually bloom once a year. I hadn’t given them much thought until I saw this tiny, baby bud starting to form.

I don’t know why, but it brought me a little bit of joy. I hope it brings you a little bit of joy too.

the view from Sunday, 3.25

on distractions, dread, and not doing much

my latest read, journaling and migraine essentials

I’m stuck.

The events of the last two weeks have taken a sledgehammer to my carefully laid out writing goals. Try though I might not to get sucked into the spiral of bad news, bad thoughts, and bad dreams, I can’t help it. I’m in that weird place between needing to know and knowing that there’s not much I can do. It’s also been a week at work, so I’m feeling extra vulnerable. As an elder millennial, I’m definitely part of the generation that always feels on edge about the future. I’m a generally optimistic person (or, at least, I try to be), but there are no guarantees in life and never does that feel more true than right at this moment.

One thing I noted during the course of my low/no buy, I never feel like I’m doing well. All my needs are met, but I always carry this sense of dread that I’m one stumble away from total disaster. Partly, it’s the ghost of growing up poor. Partly, it’s the very real truth that most Americans are one emergency away from total disaster. I’m doing fine. I know I am. My financial advisor tells me I’m doing fine.

It doesn’t change anything. I still carry that seed of dread.

So, here I am. Trying to keep the anxiety at bay, resisting the extremely counterproductive urge to buy stuff I don’t need for a hit of dopamine (the only thing I need is a new pair of shoes), and moving today’s to-do’s to tomorrow.

The growing list:

  • start editing Book 2 (started today)
  • edit and post two videos
  • publish the weekly blog entry
  • deep clean the bathroom (I’ve got a mold issue that needs extra attention.)
  • clean the apartment
  • print my new decluttering tracker and schedule 15 minutes a day to declutter
  • do my taxes
  • start the business of starting a business… (and all the steps therein)

and those are just the personal tasks.

I’ll get to them. It’ll be fine. These are the small things I can control, I’ll take them one at a time. It’ll be fine. For now, I’m reading The Stand-in by Lily Chu, cozying in bed with the cats, and not worrying about it.

I’ll get unstuck tomorrow.

Tonight, I’m going out for ice cream. 🍨

If you’d like to follow me on this journey, stick around and subscribe. 💗

You can also subscribe to my “quiet days” vlog series on YouTube or learn more about my writing at emiliagracewrites.com. I also post about my writing process on Substack. For more, visit my linktr.ee

Note to longtime readers: In case you missed the last year’s update, I changed my name to Emilia Grace on most of my socials to align with my penname.

the view from Sunday, 2.25

reflections on movement and aging well

on movement

I turned 40 last year, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned as the daughter of two senior parents with complicated health issues, it’s that movement is essential to positive health outcomes. No, movement isn’t a cure for everything—medical care is crucial and should be a human right, but we all know how that is going, at least in America. But back to movement… I have a complicated history with movement. I hated the run laps around the gym/sit-ups/public shaming of childhood gym class. I also had a weird history with medical professionals that convinced my mom that exercise was bad for my back. Hello, spina bifida occulta. Yes, I have a bad back, not engaging in core exercises was probably not the best idea, but here we are.

My small collection of dumbbells

My love of movement started in my 20s, when I started with walks around campus, which later morphed into interval runs, 5ks, yoga, and Pilates at home (thank you, local library DVDs). Enter full time employment, long commutes, and hours of sitting at a desk for work and creative pursuits, and my relationship with movement started to look a little different. It became harder to run every day, so yoga for more than 20 minutes a few times a week, or do more than catch a few minutes of walking during my breaks. I have a love/hate relationship with my office—it’s beautiful, the location gives me ample opportunity to walk in nature, but my 2-hour commute is a killer for movement. Over the last 10 years (wow!), it’s done a number on my physical wellness. Add several injuries over the last 4 years (I am the Queen 👑 of stupid falls), and I hit 40 feeling like I was never going to get my stamina back.

So, last year, I made it my mission to do something about it. I started lifting weights… light weights at first, because a shoulder injury in 2020 led to a biopsy that led to an “inconclusive” discovery, and 5 years later, I’m due for my yearly check-up to make sure nothing has changed.

getting a biopsy in the middle of the pandemic was an experience

All that to say, my right shoulder has been through it and I still don’t know why it likes to hurt on occasion, though I now know how to recognize the signs to prevent further injury.

Last June, I started doing Lift with Cee’s full body lifting workouts, using 5 and 8 lb weights, and struggling to complete some of the moves.

Nearly 7 months later, I’m up to 15s and 12s, using the 8s and 5s for the moves that trigger the shoulder twinge, or when that luteal phase is hitting hard. I’m lifting 3 days a week and I have seen the changes in my body, but the greatest change is knowing that I’m taking steps towards ensuring that I can continue to be independent as I age. I hurt my knee last April (like I said, lots of injuries), and being able to bend into a squat has been such a blessing. I’ve done physical therapy for the shoulder and the knee, and both times, my main goal has been to be able to get back to a place where I can continue to engage in movement without pain.

My dad had hip surgery when I was in college, so about 18 years ago. Because of complications, he never fully recovered. His arthritis has only gotten worse and he has reached a stage where he is in near constant pain and severely limited in his mobility. Anything can happen between now and the time I reach my dad’s age, but I know that the best thing I can do to prepare for that is to keep moving and build strength to support my already genetically messed up joints.

Here’s to aging well 🥂

If you’d like to follow me on this journey, stick around and subscribe. 💗

You can also subscribe to my “quiet days” vlog series on YouTube or learn more about my writing at emiliagracewrites.com. For more, visit my linktr.ee

Note to longtime readers: In case you missed the last year’s update, I changed my name to Emilia Grace on most of my socials to align with my penname.

video: Quiet Days ✨ (25.1) Cozy weekend reset before heading back to work

The first vlog of 2025! Spend a cozy weekend with me.

It’s the first vlog of 2025!

Catching up on my goals, reading self-help books, and sorting out my life—wrestling with past life choices, meal prep, planning, and more.

Spend a cozy weekend at home with me before I head back to work after the winter holiday.

life: is this my midlife crisis? part 2.

I told myself I would make monthly updates and, gosh darn-it, I will make monthly updates.

October started with intentions. I made goals. I wrote stuff down. I committed to making changes. And changes have been made. I started with a detailed list of all the challenges, traumas, health crises, and major life disruptions that I’ve experienced since late 2016, which I have pinpointed as “the year” when my life started going sideways. I didn’t number it, but the list is three pages long, so that gives you an impression of the kind of burnout I’m dealing with. I even have data to back up the downward trend in my health—year to year since 2017, my average daily steps decreased from 8K (4k in 2020/21, when I sprained not one, but both ankles on separate occasions) to 5/6k over the last year. This might not seem like a lot, but I was a 10K+ girlie for years, leading an active lifestyle and maintaining a solid amount of NEAT throughout the day. So, my first goal is to increase my steps and overall movement. I started by incorporating two walks throughout my workday, using the restroom on the top floor of my building unless I can’t, and clocking 45 minutes of daily activity (with the help of my Fitbit). Doable, realistic steps for my busy, over-committed, short on time lifestyle that are keeping me going and making me feel a sense of accomplishment as I hit my targets at least 5 days a week.

My second goal is to reel in spending. After years of a solid, minimal-ish lifestyle, I went off the rails into depression spending fueled by a treat yourself mentality following the 8 or so months that I spent isolated while working from home. I’ve confessed to this in my vlogs, but I went well into mindless consumerism, particularly when it comes to makeup and clothes. I have way too much and it’s been making me just as anxious as the impact on my wallet. This one has been more of a challenge than the movement goal. I started the month with a solid bout of spending on clothes and makeup before telling myself that enough is enough. I hit a small bump last weekend after a particularly stressful week led to another dopamine-seeking session of semi-mindless consumerism (I say semi-mindless because I don’t regret the actual purchases, and they are of the useful variety, but I didn’t need to make those purchases right now.) Anyhow, we live and we learn.

I started budget tracking after several months of not tracking. Despite the spending sprees, I’m still within budget. That said, everything is more expensive than ever and my rent is increasing for the second time this year, so I’m feeling the strain and it’s triggering a lot of long held anxieties about money that stem from my childhood as someone who grew up poor. It’s a mind fuck, all around.

Subgoals include: increasing protein and watching my carb intake (macro tracking), focusing on strength training and recovery, and regularly analyzing my budget to find ways to save for the holidays and re-establish a sustainable relationship with money and spending.

Small, but steady steps.

I do have an ask though – What are your favorite non-dairy protein snacks? I really miss dairy based protein sources, but the symptoms aren’t worth it to me.